Throwaway because I don’t want this linked to me.
I (25F) have been engaged to my fiancé (32M) since last October. We’ve been planning our wedding for months. My sister-in-law (32F), S, has been very involved. I don’t have a sister, I’m not from this city, my family lives hundreds of km away, and I don’t really have close friends here, so I appreciated her support.
Neither my family nor my fiancé’s is very religious, but culturally there are some superstitions, one about the evil eye. The belief is that if people envy you or know too much about your plans, bad things can happen. Because of this, some people keep everything secret until it’s done. S believes in this deeply. She never shares anything in advance. This didn’t bother me until last year. She hid her pregnancy for SEVEN MONTHS, constantly avoiding me with excuses. I only found out because her fiancé told mine by accident. She officially told me at eight months, claimed she didn’t know the baby’s gender (which her fiancé had already shared), and didn’t tell us when she gave birth. We found out two weeks later. It hurts because she asks me about every detail of my life, which I share openly, yet hides major events from me out of fear I might envy her. My fiancé always says it’s not a big deal and it’s how she was raised, even though no one else in his family behaves like this.
When I started planning my wedding, S asked to be my bridesmaid. She said this was helpful to her because her own wedding was planned for March, two months after mine. Now, I went to a well-known invitation shop to choose our invite. While looking through an album of previously printed invitations, I saw one with S’s and her fiancé’s names on it with a wedding date. It was planned to take place ONE WEEK BEFORE MINE. The employee confirmed these were real orders. She had planned her wedding in secret, knew our date and chose the week before. I know I panicked and acted impulsively but I called our venue and asked if the week before was available. The venue agreed to switch to a Friday, one day before the date on her invite. I lied to my fiancé, saying there was a scheduling issue and Friday was the only option. He hesitated but I assured him I could handle vendors and guests and confirmed the change.
Three weeks later, we handdelivered the invitations at a family dinner. When S saw them, she lost it. She screamed, cried, accused us of doing it on purpose, and called me a snake. No one understood her reaction since she hadn’t told anyone about her wedding. When her fiancé arrived, he immediately understood and asked her to leave, but she kept screaming.
Since then, she’s been sending angry messages in the family WhatsApp group and calling my fiancé, demanding we change our date. I feel guilty for lying, especially to my fiancé, but also relieved I won’t spend the week before my wedding attending hers and dealing with comparisons.
So, AITA for changing my wedding date and sabotaging my sister-in-law’s secret wedding
Your future SIL sounds like a real snake in the grass. You were sneaky but she got a taste of her own medicine. You might as well keep to your story because, if you don’t, all Hell will break loose. Congratulations on outsmarting her. And stop sharing if she’s not going to!!
NTA
PS You didn’t steal her date. You took the week before.
Not the week before, the day before.
What do you mean? SIL was very clear that her wedding was planned for March, two months after OP. OP simply moved their wedding forward one week, leaving even more time between the dates.
It would be a real AH move if the SIL lied or moved her wedding to steal OP’s moment. Good thing the SIL was clear about her wedding being planned for March.
NTA it’s not really even “evil eye” anymore it’s just outright lying from SIL. That being said you maybe should have talked to your fiancé about the real reason for moving the weddings, since it’s their wedding too, I don’t think it’s great to lie to your significant other.
The sister’s reaction pretty much says it all, rather than evil eye I think she just secretly dislikes you and used superstition as an excuse.
This is an important fact I’m not seeing from other people – the sister dislikes her. She isn’t trying to be her friend at all.
NTA given the history of deception. And this deserves to be on r/pettyrevenge
In a culture like that, I understand why people keep secrets. Your SIL seems like a real snake tbh. Can’t blame you for turning her scheming against her either. Well played Machiavelli.
ESH – she’s conniving, manipulative and emotionally unhinged. You went petty, vindictive and lied to your fiancé
Esh but I laughed really hard. She kinda deserved it
This is how I would’ve handled your SIL: I would’ve kept my wedding date, told her she’s no longer a bridesmaid, and gone either LC or NC moving forward. She’s a liar and a manipulator. Family or not, I don’t need people like that in my life.
YTA not only for stooping to her level, but for lying to your fiancé.
NTA
She knew when your wedding date was supposed to be and scheduled it before. She’s doing some very weird petty stuff here. You changed the date, well, could be seen as petty too but I would never mention that you had known about the other date.
SIL is crazy .
What the F did I just read?
Damn. You’re both unhinged.
If this is true then ESH, but you just reinforced her belief it is better to keep everything secret.
Reputable printers, however, do not use real details on their samples.
>Reputable printers, however, do not use real details on their samples.
Exactly how I knew this story was made up.