I (26M) am supposed to be the best man for my older brother (29M) this coming month. I love him, but he has always had champagne taste on a tap water budget, and he is obsessed with projecting a certain lifestyle on Instagram.
Last night, he called an emergency Zoom meeting with the groomsmen to discuss his bachelor party. I assumed we were going to rent a cabin, grill some steaks, and maybe go to a local brewery. Instead, he shared his screen and presented a literal PowerPoint for a four-day """"VIP"""" bender in Las Vegas.
The plan includes splitting a penthouse suite, booking premium bottle service at two different nightclubs, and renting exotic cars for one afternoon. After the call, he emailed us a breakdown of costs. My share of the weekend, not including my own flights or gambling money, came out to just over $3,500.
To make it worse, he also included a mandatory """"squad uniform"""" in the budget. He wants us all to buy matching maroon velvet blazers and wear this incredibly tacky, oversized novelty roulette watch so we """"look like absolute legends"""" walking across the casino floor. I literally cringed reading the itinerary.
The absolute irony here is that while he is demanding his friends max out their credit cards to fund his influencer fantasy, he is notoriously cheap when it comes to his own wallet. His fiancée has mentioned before that he spends a lot of time trying to source the cheapest possible items online and that he recently ordered bulk groomsmen gifts from Alibaba to cut costs, so it feels strange that he’s comfortable asking us to spend this much.
I called him privately after the meeting and told him there is absolutely no way I can afford a four-thousand-dollar weekend. I work in logistics and I am trying to save for a house. I don’t have room in my budget for a trip like this, especially not on short notice.
He blew up at me, saying I’m not supporting him and that this is a once-in-a-lifetime event. He said as best man, I should be helping make it happen.
Now my parents are telling me to just put it on a credit card and deal with it later because “it’s your brother’s wedding.”
I told him if this trip is mandatory, I may need to step down as best man because I genuinely can’t afford it.
AITA for drawing that line? I feel like I am losing my mind.
NTA – but your brother and family sure are. If your parents want you to join, then they need to pay you to do it.
Destination bachelor/bachelorette parties have never made sense to me – it’s a huge ask in terms of time and money. You shouldn’t be going into debt for HIS party and he shouldn’t be asking you to. NTA
Well your parents didn’t specify which credit card so ask for theirs to put it on
Or just *borrow* theirs
Your parents are fucked up for telling you to put your credit on the line for something so frivolous. What if you had like *an actual emergency* and needed credit? So irresponsible jfc
NTA. Exactly. I was thinking that if the parents wanted him to go so badly, they should foot the bill for his attendance. Don’t put your financial stability in jeopardy to fulfill his dream party.
I don’t know why these bachelor / bachelorette shindigs have gotten so out of hand. They used to be a night out (in town) and have morphed into multi-day destination extravaganzas that should be paid for by everyone except bride / groom. It’s expensive enough to be in the wedding party for the wedding but add on these parties and it is ridiculous.
NTA he’s not just trying to have a champagne weekend on a beer budget, he’s trying to have on YOUR budget.
Bottle service is for fools.
Never put yourself in a hole for a party, especially someone else’s party
The family telling you to “put it on your credit card” and go into debt is wild.
NTA. I gave my lil bro $500 as a wedding gift and he profusely thanked me. Seems your family has backward priorities.
Both of my brothers being in my wedding was their gifts to me. I can’t imagine asking them to go into debt for a party.
Nta but your parents can put it on a credit card and pay it off later if it’s that important that you go
Tell your parents to foot the bill for your share then. And tell them it’s your son’s wedding.
Poll the other groomsmen without the groom. If the vote is unanimous, tell the groom that if he wants to go through with it, then he’ll do it by himself. If others think it’s a great idea, then there will be someone who can take over best man duties. NTA.
Your brother, and your parents, are fucking morons. If this is the kind of person he is, I’m willing to be this wont be his only wedding.
>once-in-a-lifetime event
Based on what I’m seeing here….probably not. NTA