Am I the asshole?
Me (17m) suggested to my mum (49F) and sister (24F) about taking my cat (16F) to the vets for a check. My reasoning is that in the last few years she’s started pooing and peeing indoors. She’s an outdoor cat and would go outdoors before. She’s clearly slowed down mobility-wise and is showing signs of mental age as she yowls at night and goes to unusual places like the bathtub. My mum and siblings are against the idea of taking her to the vets mainly because they believe that they will suggest having her put down and also because of any potential fees the check may incur. They’ve also repeatedly stated that the reason for her behaviour is simply “because she’s old”. I’ve made it apparent to them that I don’t want her to be put down but I’m just concerned as to why she is going indoors and whether there’s anything we can do about it. Of course if the vets were to suggest having her put down then I’d want it to be on the basis of her quality of life.
I just feel like they’re being very ignorant to the possibility of her being in pain and I’m at a loss in terms of what to say or do to make them understand.
NAH normal pet owning discussion
Seconded. And she may even have a treatable illness like a UTI that would make her feel better.
Info: Do you have an indoor litter box?
NTA. If they have an issue with the fees it might incur, they shouldn’t have a cat. Also, if your cat is an indoor/outdoor cat, 16 years is quite a run! Unfortunately, I have a feeling if they do not want to spend more money on other treatments, putting her down might be the most valid option. It’s not amazing but given her age and behavior, I would say it is time.
Nta, but your family is for not taking your cat to the vet because they don’twant to spend the money. Don’t get any more pets if they’re just going to suffer once they get old. If you wait too long, the cat will be too far gone for anything to help. Kidney failure is common at her age. You would really think I’m the jerk. I’d bring her in to likely be put down without telling them. Then bring the body home and put it under a bush for them to find. Then spend the rest of their lives guilting them about how the cat died afraid and alone.
There’s nothing wrong with bringing up the possibility that she could be in pain. But I would probably listen to what the vet says before advocating for euthanasia …
NTA. You’re the only responsible person in the conversation apparently. It’s very normal and reasonable to want to seek medical care for a senior pet. A vet can’t force you to euthanize a pet, and if they’re that concerned about the suggestion, then it’s likely that her quality of life is genuinely not good anymore.
NTA. The vet won’t force you to put your cat down even if they think it’s best, and taking your cat to the vet could potentially extend its life.
NTA
If you don’t take your animals to vet once a year, you shouldn’t have pets.
If you don’t take your pets for an emergency appointment when they are in distress, please turn your animal over to a rescue organization like the humane society.
If you have an ‘outside cat’ you are bad people. So many reasons it is terrible: the risk of cars, the cat killing birds, etc.
Your family should not own pets.
You are NTA. Your cat needs a visit to the vet. Your mom and sister would rather have a pet suffering than face the reality of paying for a vet visit and possibly having to say goodbye. Call a local animal shelter and see if they can recommend a low-cost vet in your area. I’m sorry but it appears you are having to deal with this on your own. I hope you find a vet who will work with you on what is best for the kitty.
your family is basically choosing denial over your cats comfort, which is wild to me. those symptoms she’s showing, the indoor accidents and yowling at night, could be anything from a uti to cognitive dysfunction and none of it gets better by ignoring it. a vet visit isnt a death sentence, its literally the only way to know whats actually happening with her
Does she not use a litter box?
If she’s yowling, she’s in pain and should be taken to the vet. They may or may not suggest putting her down. Bring her! You’re NTA for doing so.
If she’s peeing in the bathtub she is still tryjng to contain it. She could have a UTI which is easy to fix and can be caused by cheap cat food. Or she could be diabetic. We had an old cat we switched to hamburger and wet food with extra water mixed in and that was the only change. She was good for a few more years. Dry food is salty and mostly grain and that’s not what carnivores are meant to eat.
If she’s an outside cat, are you in a rural area? I find rural vets much cheaper than city vets. Or if there are any farmers nearby, you might be able to get antibiotics from them