Me and my significant live in a townhouse with a deck in the backyard. Around 3 weeks ago we noticed that there was a litter of cats living under the deck. We initially agreed to feed the mother and try to get all of the kittens healthy. Then once they naturally moved inside to get their own food we would take them all as a group to the shelter, so they could be cared for properly. So we followed through with our plans and after 2 weeks they slowly eventually came out. We housed them all in a spare room so they would feel safe. And gave them lots of blankets and places that were safe to hide. During the process I was frantically calling up vets and shelters asking them what the best thing to do was.
However, 2 of the kittens began to get sick. Both getting an eye infection. At this point I pleaded with my SO that the situation was out of our situation to handle. But he said that he was too attached and wanted to look after them and make sure they had good foster parents. As the situation became worse (One of the kittens starting vomiting), I took it upon myself to take the kittens to a shelter (that had a no put down possibility… unless they got really sick) and talked to them on the phone. They guaranteed they would do everything in their possibility to make sure they went to good owners. TBF, as he wasn’t budging I did this once he left for work, as I felt it needed to be done.
Now, he is so angry at me. He is stating that the kittens were owned by both of us and under both our care. I feel like I did the right thing. Truthfully I couldnt handle seeing a kitten die because of my mistakes.
Defs, NTA. You made the right call. Kittens can get sick very easily. If they were living under your deck they very likely have worms. That could be why they were vomiting. They were probably also starved. Moreover, in the social development of the kittens, the first 12 weeks are extremely important. Them feeling safe around humans is very important and you may not have known how to socialize them properly
I felt completely stressed the whole time. I love animals but there is so much to do. Especially with a litter of kittens. I did my best while I had them and they became most of my life for those weeks.
Medical neglect is also abuse. “Best intentions” actually do more harm than not, so your fiance is in the wrong. (I could get into so many rescue horror stories, but… this probably isn’t the place for that.) Let’s just say it can also get very expensive with multiple kittens.
I’m not what your relationship is normally like, but think carefully. He will be like this for your future pets and possibly children. He’ll put his interests before others. If he gives you shit, remember that you did the right thing before it got worse for the kittens.
You did the right thing. No one wants to watch kittens suffer, and you got them to people who could actually help. Your SO’s feelings are valid, but letting them get sicker would’ve been way worse. Sometimes caring means making the hard call.
NTA. What matters more to your SO, his feelings or the health and well-being of several small, vulnerable living creatures? Is this how he tends to behave when things don’t go his way?
You are NTA
Part of housing an animal is providing veterinary care when it is needed. Not doing so is neglect regardless of how attached you are.
Kittens are very fragile and can go downhill FAST when they become ill. The shelter is the best chance they have for survival.
NTA. You did what was best for the cats, and that’s all that matters.
NTA. I am normally against lying to your partner, but this was about the safety and health of animals vs your husbands feelings. Those kittens needed medical care and he wasn’t going to get it for them.
Nta. But your SO is. Were they just going to let the cats get sicker and sicker until they all died or had infections. Good job op.
Nta. I see nothing in your post to indicate that your partner was going to take the kittens to the vet to get properly cared for. They needed vet care and the shelter was a better option than where they were.
NTA; they needed veterinary care. If he were so invested, he should have taken them to a vet. As it stands, he can go to the shelter and adopt them when they’re medically cleared.
So if he was so attached why wasn’t he taking them to the vet to get medical care? That is what I do when we find strays that I am going to find homes for… I get them medical care as needed and then find them homes or take them to a reputable shelter after I get them medical care.
NTA
If he didn’t want them taken to the shelter when they were clearly sick and having issues, he should have opted for a vet. Since that didn’t sound like an option, the shelter was the right call. He wanted to personally pick their owners, which is sweet, but not at the cost of their lives.
You made the right call.
NTA
I don’t understand…if he wanted to adopt them then why didn’t he try taking them to a vet to get care for them? What exactly was his plan here?? Did it include medical care? If no, then what was his problem with what you did?
Definitely NTA, and your SO isn’t thinking this through. Maybe he should read some of the comments.