My wife and I recently moved to a new state and completely reset our lives. We’ve been through a lot over the last few years and decided to escape and start over. It’s been a really wonderful change and we are very happy, but I can’t figure out what I want to do for work.
I’ve been a successful salesman for years and I’m just so tired of pushing sales. I was the major breadwinner for years and now that she has her medical license and is working full-time, we decided it’s time for me to figure out what will actually make me happy as far as a career.
The problem is, everything that I really would enjoy doing is a real stretch from my practiced skills. I do a lot of interviews and think that they go wonderfully and then the job goes to somebody who is actually experienced in that field.
I’ve taken up a habit that I don’t really think is nice. I make sure I throw enough interviews in there for sales jobs because I know that they will really love me and basically beg me to take the job and then I get to say no. It Keeps my ego up to keep being offered positions and turning them down.
I do feel bad though because I know every time I do one of these interviews that I’m almost certainly not going to want this job, but I feel like if I’m only receiving rejections, it’s going to really shut me down.
Of course there is always a chance that one of these sales jobs will actually be something I want to do, I just really don’t think so.
ADDENDUM:
Somebody just commented on something and I want to clarify. My wife is actually my strongest supporter in why I am not taking a job I don’t want. She says that she has seen me burn myself out so bad in the past and she wants me to take the time to figure out what will make me happy, just like I gave her years to do in the past. Every time I actually consider taking one of these sales jobs, she tells me that I really shouldn’t if I’m not going to be happy and I absolutely love her for that!
And while I am home, I have taken on the responsibility of keeping the house clean and doing the cooking and taking care of the pets and all that stuff. She doesn’t trust me to do the laundry for some reason though LOL.
Weird
YTA. I think you need another way to keep your ego up. You’re wasting people’s time. You apparently know you’re very desirable as a salesman, so keep that in mind.
But there’s a related issue — that you’re getting turned down so often for jobs you want, that you actually go on bogus interviews just to feel better. If you’re getting only rejections because you lack skills, why not get the skills? Is this something you can get training for? Because if you need those skills to get these jobs, why do you think that more interviews will result in a job offer? Do what you have to do to start this career, if this career is what you really want.
My one question is how are you getting these interviews if they want someone experienced? Doesn’t your resume show that you’re not? Are you maybe misconstruing why you’re not getting offers?
YTA. Those companies dodged a bullet.
What are you? 13?
YTA, you’re wasting everyone’s time. You’re also making it worse for the people interviewing for jobs (that actually want and need the job) because the interviewees are wasting time looking over your application rather than the people who desperately need the position.
YTA
You’re wasting the interviewer’s time, but worse than that you are causing them to ignore people who actually want and need the job.
Other applicants are getting passed over and turned away because interviewers are focused on you. Your ego is not worth that.
Find a way to feel some self-worth without it being at the expense of others.
NTA.
Companies commonly interview people who they have no intention to hire because they already have somebody lined up for the job, they just need to go through the motions to make it appear like a fair hiring process. If a company can do that, a candidate surely has the right to do the same. Also, you stated that you’re **almost** certain you wouldn’t want that position. That to me means that there is still a small chance that the company could convince you to take the job, if they were exceptionally great.
That being said, I think the time you spend on these interviews could be better spent on improving your qualification for the jobs you actually want to do long term.
YTA – Your ego isn’t going to pay the bills, and wasting time stroking it is just that – a waste of time. If you know you don’t want the job, please take care of the house or do something productive instead, because you’re not doing your wife or bank account any favors by pretending. If anything, your ego should be diminishing, not growing.
Huge a-hole. It’s beyond rude to waste their time like this. Time they’ve taken to check you out, read your app and resume, call your references, schedule the interview, prep for it, meet with colleagues to decide who to make the offer to…. Etc. They only interview a set number of candidates from the pool of applicants. You are keeping someone off that list to stroke your ego. Someone who wants that job.
Just STOP.
YTA. It’s really petty and your just wasting peoples time. Try volunteering or do a part time job for a while while you figure things out. Go back to education maybe. But, don’t mess people around.
YTA and shooting yourself in the foot. Do you not think these companies and managers not talk? You are going to get a reputation.
Stop going on interviews to turn them down. I agree with someone who mention volunteering so at least you’re doing something to keep you busy that will interest you. The job market is ugly right now and it’s a lot to see someone saying I’m turning down jobs to make my ego happy.
And go to a coach or career counselor if you’re really serious about finding something that suits your skillset and won’t burn you out.
Also FYI if all of these jobs are in the same industry you can get known pretty quickly for being what our office calls a frequent flyer. After a while HR will just start binning your resume. YTA.
This is the equivalent of companies doing interviews and asking the potential employees to pitch ideas, with no intention of hiring anyone.
YTA. Stop wasting peoples time ffs
YTA, you’re not just wasting the interviewers time but also all those people who came in second or third and have been rejected because the company thought they were landing you.
YTA You’re wasting people’s time and causing others to not get interviews.
Grow up.