I 24F, and my boyfriend, 25M, have two roommates, 22M and 22F, in a 2 bedroom apartment. We have 2 50L bins, one for food and one for recycling. To take out the trash we have to go to the basement, then walk about 5 minutes to the bins.
Anyways, they take out the bins almost every day. If not, every other day. Usually the bins will be about half full when they take them out. Or, the trash will be half full and the recycling will be about 3/4 full. However, lightly pushing the recycling down usually makes it 1/4 full. Anyways, I and my boyfriend find it hard to keep up with this as we don’t know what warrants full enough to be taken out to them.
I tried to ask them why they take them out half full and they said it’s because the food starts to smell. I suggested using the mini compost bins provided by the apartment because they have a sealed lid, and we tried it for a few days, but they did not seem to like it, so we have gone back to using the regular trash bin for food scraps. I also suggested a chore wheel type thing for taking them out, and they just shrugged and said they take them out when they are leaving the apartment. Finally, I asked if they want us to start taking them out when they hit 3/4 full instead, and they said they really just do it when they feel.
It has gotten to the point where for every 5 times they take them out, I take it out once. For reference, one of them has cleanliness ocd (they specifically told me this), and cleans the apartment fully multiple times a week. I always wash up after my dishes, clean the counters, and do general cleaning immediately. I, however, have not done a super deep clean of the apartment recently (cleaning the corners, mopping all the floors, etc). I used to have tension with old roommates because I did all the cleaning so I do not want to be that person not pulling my weight now. However, their refusal for a chore wheel makes it hard for me to know when is a good time to do different tasks.
Another point of contention is that I and my boyfriend use the dishwasher and they only hand wash. This causes some tension as I believe they think it wastes electricity. They once even turned it off mid cycle because they said I didnt fill it enough. I knew they did this as their was a ton of undrained water at the bottom.
We have a good enough relationship, I just don’t know how to proceed with this. Any advice is appreciated!
Just take out the trash.
NTA. Living in mixed adult situations basically always sucks, it sucks when it’s family but you can fall into the dynamic that’s formed over years. Living with another couple sounds like actual hell to me.
HAVING SAID THAT — garbage does stink, it can attract bugs or worse; just take the garbage out more. It’s not a terrible habit to form to be cautious of stagnant garbage.
Are you using trash bags? If they’re so worried about the energy loss of running a half full dishwasher but not about the number of wasted plastic trash bags used by taking out half full trash bins I would be frustrated too. I would also be frustrated by lack of chore chart. Have they said anything to you about there being an issue?
NTA for now but maybe you and your boyfriend should look into moving out on your own.
Dishwashers also use much less water than handwashing, so it offsets any energy used.
NAH but the solution is pretty simple: take the trash out more often. You can use the food scrap compost bin regardless of whether or not the roommates use it, but take that out regularly too.
NTA.
Your roommates are being ridiculous, everything you’ve described here is perfectly normal. Dishwashers barely use any electricity and as long as there aren’t any bugs or noticeable issues from the rubbish taking it out once a day is excessive. No issues if they want to do it but it’s unreasonable to expect you to do so for no reason.
Personally I’d probably try one last time to sit down with them and come to an agreement and if they’re still being weird about it just ignore them, use the dishwasher and take the rubbish out when you have the chance. It may be you’ll just need to find a new place to stay without them.
In our house we take out the garbage when it’s full or stinky. If it doesn’t seem stinky to you, I don’t know how you would be able to know that it is stinky to your roommates. You could choose to take the trash out at a set time regardless of how full it is. After dinner if you’ve been cooking is usually a good time because any meat wrappings or veggie scraps could smell if left overnight. Make an effort to rinse particularly stinky items like yogurt cups before placing them in the bin.
Info: Are your roommates actually complaining about the frequency of your trash taking out or are you just feeling bad about it bc of the difference in frequency?
NTA they seem happy enough taking the bins out daily so let them.
NTA
NAH as these seem like the normal friction of living with us.
If they insist on handwashing everything, you might want to fully separate cutlery, cups and plates though, as handwashing doesn’t sterilize dishware the same way dishwashing does, and dishwashing is harder on plates and cups then handwashing is, as that might be some of the issue.
NTA except to yourself. It sounds like her OCD makes you anxious and worried because you can’t keep up with her need for cleanliness. Tell her this. Plan to live with others when your lease is up.
It also sounds like the only thing they chastize you for is the dishwasher. If they shut if off, turn it back on. Figure out how much it costs to run and tape the bills or change to the front.
Just keep doing as much as you would do if you had a roommate without OCD.
Remember, her OCD problem is her problem, not yours.