I (19m) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (21m) for almost a year now. He plays bass in a band. To be completely honest, the culture around the genre is a lot for me to handle, and I’m not particularly fond of the music itself. Absolutely nothing against him and his bandmates, it’s just not my thing.
We got into a playful argument about who’s more likely to succeed/be more successful. He said it wouldn’t be me, and I argued that his band sucks. Honestly, it’s the truth. It’s not a great look for him, especially for someone who wants to succeed in the music industry. In no way am I saying that he is not talented, because he is.
He was genuinely upset with me after the fact, and I tried to apologize and rephrase what I said in the heat of the moment, but he was hurt nonetheless.
For reference, I work full time as a graphic designer, and I’m doing very well in my situation.
YTA. If you don’t like the music at all, how can you be sure it is bad?
YTA. telling someone that their passion, or an aspect of their passion, sucks is not how to have a playful argument. He might be objectively wrong that you’d be less successful, but saying that his band sucks is unnecessarily cruel. If you think his band is a genuine problem, it needs/needed to be brought up under different circumstances.
YTA. You’re not particularly fond of the music, so I’d say you’d have more of a negative viewpoint of the band. Maybe it’s really good to the people who like the genre of music.
YTA. You two were having a playful argument and you had to do a low blow. Completely uncalled for.
ESH how is that a fun or playful thing to joke about?
YTA – but you already know that and hope there will be enough here who say you don’t to rationalize it…but you are…
YTA, your partners hobbies shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is the thing he chooses to do in his spare time because he’s passionate about it.
Work joke, fine as long as it’s not their everything
Hobbies joke, it’s just not needed. Being supportive of your partners hobbies is very important, IMO.
Also, I may be impartial as a bass player. Let him slap on!
ESH. Who thought it would be a fun “playful argument” to tell each other you suck and won’t be successful? Such an obviously bad idea.
YTA who are you to judge the quality of his band if you don’t even like the music genre??
ESH. Why would you even ‘joke’ about ‘who’s gonna be more successful?’ LOL that in itself is asking for trouble. You’re both immature and insecure, trying to make yourselves feel better by degrading the other under the guise of being playful.
Yta – if you’d said it sucks and didnt believe it than it might have been playful. This was mean.
ESH. You are partner’s. You are not supposed to think “who is more likely to succeed” like some alpha competition.
You are supposed to sharpen one another and stand in confidence that each of you are better because you have your partner and that allows you to be a stronger individual as well as couple.
INFO what about the culture is hard for you to handle? Why do you think the band sucks despite your boyfriend’s talent?
YTA for the “playful argument”. It is not one, just a way to pump up your own ego.
You don’t like the music genre, fair. But unless you can judge the quality of music with some experience, you are reacting from your preferences, not expertise.
It’s like someone saying you suck as a designer and won’t amount to anything because they don’t like your favourite style.