Hey. So I’ve posted on here before. Im the girl who’s cousin wanted to pay me only 200 a month and sometimes food and smokes for babysitting her kids 12 plus hours a day.
Things have not improved. She told me that she would start buying my cat food to but she was gonna take that cost away from my phone bill money. Im still babysitting her children for about 12 hours a day almost everyday because she "keeps getting called in to work".
I have been keeping my mouth shut. She no longer pays even half my phone bill she buys me 24 packs of ramen that are 30 cents each, one bag of pizza rolls, and one bag of chips a month. She gives me about six monsters and the occasional soda a month. She buys me about two packs of smokes a month (wich is plenty as I am actively trying to quit). She also thinks that I will be willing to continue babysitting if she moves out.
She also told me that she would have more money if she didnt have to buy things for me to wich I replied: You have 100 extra dollars a payday because you quit paying my phone bill so where does that extra 200 a month go? She also recently bought herself a fourth pair of 60 dollar earbuds. And when she takes her kids to town with her, instead of taking extra clothes for them incase they have an accident, she just goes and buys more clothes. I would bet she spends about 200 a month on buying the kids more clothes and gas because shes always finding an excuse to go to town.
Today she again got called in to work after promising me she would tell them no, no matter what.
Yesterday I found out that my mother possibly has cervical cancer. So after a lot of thinking and talking to my dad I have decided that if she does have cancer I am moving in with them to help take care of my mom. I told cousin that she has a month to find other arangements for her children. She called me a bitch and told me that I need to pay her back for "everything shes done for me these last few months".
I may be the ass because I listed the few things shes done for me and told her I would not pay her back for the food because she doesn’t even pay for it the government does (food stamps). I also told her that if she wants to be petty and make me pay her back for what I was owed for babysitting over the last ten months that she needs to pay me back for all I have done for her and her kids over the years with a list of what I had done.
I thought a month was more than enough time to figure things out but apparently Im a petty bitch. She cant belive that i would do this to a poor single mother who’s just trying her best. Someone who just got out of a toxic relationship (shes already talking to about four dudes on the internet and has only been single four a week). She has three different baby daddies (and might be pregnant) and the three year old has started calling me mom and my brother dad. I dont know what to do anymore.
NTA. this is a person who consistently takes advantage of anyone who will let her. She’s toxic. Get away.
Seriously run don’t walk away from this sister.
Nta. She does what’s best for her, you get to do what’s best for you! Which absolutely sounds like leaving this situation
Why do you keep doing it?
Because if I dont shes going to leave the kids with my 80 year old grandma who’s on oxygen. And Grandma cant care for a 6 year old a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
Then threaten to call CPS—those children are no one’s responsibility but hers and their father(s). She chose to pop them out—she finds childcare or takes care of them herself. This is not nor should it have ever been your job. Don’t even give her a month. Stop immediately, and if she drops them off with your grandma, call the cops for child abandonment. Stop giving her outs because she’ll keep being a mooch till there’s actual consequences for her actions.
You are taking care of your grandma, about to possibly care for your mom. Her choosing to pop out 3 (possibly 4) kids with everyone she meets is not your fault. Her poor planning and lack of funds are on her. Pushing you to be a 2nd parent to children you did not have is not okay. You have to actually stick to it, no exceptions, or she’ll never stop, and she’ll never learn. She’ll just keep pushing out kids and then cry about the children she neglects calling you mom later. Also—instead of hopping from guy to guy, can she not travel down her baby daddies for child support and use that for daycare?
I am thinking about calling CPS but the thing is shes had them called on her about four times in six years and nothing ever happens. Twice for letting the two older kids run around the park while she sleeps in her car.
They build cases before swooning in, this will add to it
NTA. You don’t owe her anything. Let her figure her own shit out.
A month? Start now.
Keep telling yourself have plans even though you don’t and after a week tell her you’re not helping her anymore.
Don’t give in. Stand your ground and be done with it.
DON’T EVEN TRY to make it about the kids. it’s her kids, she had them, it’s her responsibility.
If she tries to just drop them at your house threaten calling the cops.
You’re an AH for your diet. Dear lort. Please, for the love of everything, make some adjustments.
But you are NTA for stopping this nonsense – you have let this go on way too longs it’s unacceptable. She needs to figure out her own sh1t. You have her plenty of time.
I promise thats not all I eat. Its more for a quick thing if I dont have time to make a meal. I still have ramen left from last month and I let the two older kids finish off the pizza rolls Most of the time. I eat a home cooked meal at least twice a day.
And thank you. I also thought a month was more than enough. My dad thinks I should give her only a week.
NTA. A month is too long. Give her a week. Two at the very most. You are not responsible for her problems or “hard luck.” She is the one creating that ‘luck’ with her actions. You take care of you. And make the reports to CPS that people are suggesting. Take care.
NTA. seems like you have been there for her time and time again and she is taking advantage of you. i think giving her a month is very reasonable. you are a good cousin for doing so much for hr. i’ve been in a similar situation and sometimes you just have to finally come to a point of standing your ground. she is the parent and there are 3 other parents that could/should be stepping up and providing and caring for the children. there are many avenues she can go about this and hopefully cps is the last resort. i hope things work out and that you dont feel any guilt