Im 26F, he’s 54M.
My father was a sporadic presence in my life and had a brief relationship with my mom. He told me that he knows he was a bad dad and says he is trying to make it up now, but I still hold a lot of resentment. He complains I only text him when I need money. I don’t ask him for money often, but when I do, I do text him lol. I feel he honestly doesn’t give me a lot else to work with. Like he called me and wished me a happy birthday on the wrong day once.
My father also exclusively dates younger women. He was recently dating a 22 year old who stole 6k from him when he was sleeping. He called me and complained about it, telling me that the police said they couldn’t do anything, etc. I told him I didn’t feel sorry for him because he was an idiot and a creep. My paternal side of the family is pretty mad at me about this, as word has spread, and my mom (who hates my dad) also thinks I went too far. I honestly feel like it had to be said, especially because I’m not financially reliant on him (I’ve just asked him for money a couple times for school/when I’m short on rent and stuff like that). But I also don’t want to let my bitterness cloud my objective judgment. I just….really can’t feel bad for him. I’m sorry. AITA?
NTA, but just cut him out of your life cold turkey, and quit using him for money.
NTA. You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Your dad is more than old enough to have learned that lesson by now.
YTA – you obviously don’t really have a relationship with your dad, so why in the hell are you guilt tripping him to give you money? Also, while the age gap is pretty bad, it’s two adults. Why does that mean your dad should have felony theft visited upon him? You have already let bitterness cloud your judgement.
Who keeps 6k in their house? If a lady friend was staying over and decided to steal some stuff while I was sleeping, she’d get away with a handful of coins, a few dollars in cash, and a 5 pound bag of rice.
It was a combination of cash and jewelry apparently
Someone who sees paying for sugar babies as entirely normal, or to give them another designation, prostitutes.
Dude, do you really want to let people know that there’s a 5 lb bag of rice ripe for the taking? You’re just inviting it at this point.
It’s botan rice, not jasmine rice. I feel safe.
“Who keeps 6k in their house?” An old guy that pays for sex with 22 year women. She just took a bit more than she was probably owed.
A little bit, yes.
Kindness cost nothing and builds value for the future.
If he just wanted sympathy, you could give it to him without losing anything. If he wanted money, HELL NO.
ESH your dad is the A for being a bad dad but you are the A for kicking him while he was down. Do you want an actual relationship with him or are you using his guilt to get money out of him every so often?
$6k in cash? Does your father deal in illegal substances? If so, please reconsider the wisdom of taking money from him. Regardless, NTA for telling him the truth. Even though poorly timed, it sounds like it was long overdue.
NTA. He definitely is creepy, and that’s just natural consequences. Also it’s fine to ask your FATHER for money sometimes. He can say no. He can also say no to dating women younger than his friggin daughter.
Yta. How dare a 22yr old woman take the money you would eventually call to ask for…. You are 26. Either try to meet him halfway on a relationship or don’t.