Background, my husband is 43, he does a physical and stressful job, he drinks regularly, smokes and has a very bad diet. Im 46, I quit smoking 15 years ago when we started our family, I go to the gym and run, I fit this in atound my job and being the main child care provider. 3 of our male friends in their mid 40s have recently had major health issues, stroke, heart issues & high pressure. I suggested my husband has a health check with the GP and nows the time to start leading a healthier lifestyle. He point blank refused and said he didnt care if he had a stroke or heart attack. I was upet about his attitude and when he said he didnt care about his health or making any changes I said if he chose to carry on drinking, smoking, living off Greggs & doing recreational drugs i wouldn’t look after him if he had health issues that could of been avoided. He told me he didnt want to be married to a person with mental health issues and that I was evil for saying I wouldn’t care for him and that he now refuses to care for me in the event that I suffer from any illness in the future
AITA for trying to make him have a health check and shock him into action. His motto is live fast & die young but we have 2 children (12 and 10) so I think he should want to be around and see them grow up and not be a burden.
NTA and to be honest you deserve someone a lot better than that.
NTA, and you need to rethink this marriage. It is not a partnership.
NTA
So YOU have “mental health issues” because you… care about him? Well then, you can divorce him and do your own thing since he doesn’t care. After all, he can take care of himself, right?
Yes, I know, you have children, but wouldn’t it be better for you to be at peace and away from this mess that he’s getting himself into?
NTA, but why tf are you two married? Seems like you’d both be better off apart.
It’s hard to build a future with someone who doesn’t want one. NTA
NTA. PLEASE READ OP–I would honestly be considering divorce. Live fast, die young mentality is incredibly selfish and assumes you and others will be there to put the pieces back together if he goes off the rails. It’s one thing to have an unforeseen illness or accident, it’s another to live recklessly.
On a personal note, my ex had much the same mentality. He was an alcoholic, had gained probably 140lbs in the last decade, had previously been a drug addict (although he was in active recovery for about a decade), did not exercise, avoided seeing the doctor if at all possible. It all caught up to him last Fall when he dropped dead at age 42. Which is of course awful, but was made even worse by our 16 year old son being the one to find his dad’s body and call 911. The trauma his death has caused our son is unimaginable. He stopped going to school, his mental health deteriorated even with therapeutic and medical interventions. He has begun to improve a bit over time and completed his GED from home but his life is forever changed. He will never be the same happy go lucky boy he was before his dad passed away. In a lot of ways his childhood ended the moment he found his dad’s body.
NTA Your husband is acting like a teenager – and talking like an addict.
When you have children, you owe it to them to stay as fit as you can so you can look out for their well being.