So, let me just preface that this was almost half a year ago, and I no longer work at this establishment.
For 3 long, debilitating years, I worked at McDonald’s, and during my last year I was on the overnight shift (10pm-6am). I honestly loved the overnights there, I had mostly regulars during the weeknights, so it was mostly smooth sailing.
Until 5am hit.
I had an older coworker (55), let’s call her Kat. She worked the early mornings (5am-1pm), and when she would come in, she’d immediately start critiquing my work throughout the night. Instead of helping in the morning (which was her job in the morning), she would, instead, walk around the drive thru and “inspect” things. Annoying, right?
She’d make comments while I worked about how I was “slow” (she meant dumb), or how she missed the old overnight worker (he formerly dated her daughter, Kat was obsessed with him). Obviously, this gets extremely aggravating.
This went on for about a month. She’d come in, do absolutely nothing but critique me for the last hour I was there, and then make a big show about how I “stole her position” to the 6am starters when I left. Most mornings she was upset because I was already there, so she’d have to fill another position for the hour. AN HOUR.
Anyways, one morning I had enough, and I finally spoke to my manager about it. My coworker stopped for a little while after that, she was just mostly avoidant, which was fine. There were times where we could conjure up a conversation and get along and joke around, but I guess she got too comfortable with the jokes after a while, and started up the “slow” comments again. This time, with a PASSION. I think someone told her I was dating the ex-overnighter (like I said before, she was OBSESSED with him).
She started talking about how I was slow, uncoordinated, and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Kat made a remark about being bothered by my ignorance (I generally ignored her when she was like this), so without looking at her, I said “I’m bothered by you walking in, then your hairline walking in 10 minutes later”, and went back to my work. I watched her smirk fade, and then she disappeared into the crowd of 6am starters that had just walked in. Obviously, I left.
The next morning I was pulled into the office and written up for the comment, but the manager I spoke with was extremely reluctant about writing me up for it. She said it was her job to do so, but she didn’t think it was worth the trouble, especially because she knew how Kat was (could often dish it out, but couldn’t take it). I came out of the office laughing with both managers, and Kat never bothered me again. We often compared her to Sméagol from LOTR after that (she closely resembled him, it was actually scary).
So, I guess after all that, AITA for telling my coworker she had a receding hairline?
YTA – Her work ethic was the problem, not her appearance, and you should have addressed that instead of stooping to a personal insult.
This. If the best response you have is an ad hominem attack, you lost the “argument” and indeed YTA. Ad hominems are how idiots argue because they can’t successfully defend their point so they just lash out to “hurt feelings.”
YTA. As stated by someone already, low to make fun of how people look. Really low.
ESH. Don’t make comments about other people’s appearance. It’s a low blow.
ESH. You’re not in high school anymore, deal with your conflicts in an adult way, especially at work.
Kind of surprised that managers were laughing about it but you’re still written up, that could affect you if you apply for a promotion or if you get written up again for something else. It’s not worth it.
YTA
Instead of coming back with a comment about them being rude, you decide to quip with an insult of their appearance.
In what world would you *not* be an asshole for that?
Yes, Kat should have been nicer and shouldn’t have criticized you so much…but that doesn’t create a space to be so cruel about something that is so sensitive (hair loss is a touchy subject for men and women – it’s a tough blow for anyone and can make someone feel so insecure)
Edited to add: I totally missed your fucking comment about LOTR. Changed my rating to YTA. Disgusting.
ESH…. None of this should be appropriate at work… especially the face that you’re talking about her with the manager behind her back. You and her bother deserve to be written up along with the managers
YTA
It is immature and unintelligent if your only response to someone criticizing your work is to insult their appearance.
ESH you are at work, you are both causing a work place rift and drama for everyone that no one wants to or should have to participate in. Neither of you were in the right and the fact you can’t seem to stop with now with the LOTR is pushing you closer to asshole status.
ESH. You should have reported your co-workers behaviour to the manager, who obviously doesn’t like her, and probably would have been happy to write her up. Instead you lashed out and gave your coworker the perfect excuse to complain to management about you. The truth is you got lucky with how your manager responded.
ESH
Your co-worker for the remarks she made.
You for the hairline thing, and then continuing to joke about her appearance after.
ESH, there’s really no reason to bring appearance into it?
I feel like you just used this subreddit wanted an excuse to repeat what you must think is the funniest thing ever. YTA.
Imagine waking up on Thanksgiving and thinking about the time you laid snark on an old lady all the way back in May, though. Imagine being that person. If you didn’t have anything else to express gratitude about today, at least you’re not an AH like OP here. Big sad yikes.