So, there’s going to have to be some back ground given to the current situation as well, but this morning I woke up to a text from my roomate saying she had to give my cat food to her cat bc she didn’t realize she was out. I told her that she couldn’t use my cat’s food (even though it was too late she already had without waiting for permission.) And that she simply needed to go buy her cat, even just a single can, even if she’s broke, (we’re both broke, waiting to get paid later today).
For more context, we’re both employees at a retail store that we live literally right next to, she works overnightshifts though, and I work days/evenings/closing whenever. I know that she can scrape together the 72¢ or a less than a dollar it takes to feed her cat the food she chooses (Friskies pate), and walk up to the store and buy even just one or two cans to tide her cat over, until she can buy a larger amount.
Beyond that, I think she should’ve been planning for her cat to run out of food, it shouldnt be a surprise, thats your responsibility to keep your cat fed. And in the past, I had opted to feed and purchase both our cats food, but realizing it was unfair and it was putting more stress on me, I originally asked that she pay for her cats food, and feed the cata in the mornings (like when she would come home from work), and I would feed them in the evenings. I understand her frustration for the deal then, because I had devised, a more elaborate than necessary way to feed both the cats then, where I would warm my kittens food in warm water in the microwave, so that I would soak up and be soft, and then I would pour the excess water into her cats food, to soften it up, bc we know he cat has a hard eating food in most circumstances because she (my roomate’s 5yo cat) has a gum disease and eating seems to be painful for her so she bypass chewing at times and goes straight to swallowing food. I also had wanted the cats to be fed together because I wanted my kitten and her cat to bond a bit through that.
So, because the arrangement seemed not to be working well, and because my roommate never would know when her cat was going to run out of food, because she couldn’t check and pay attention I guess…(that’s just my own view of why, maybe it’s something else.) I suggested we just feed our own cats, and that be that. There are still past instances that bother me, where her cat had ran out of food, and she even had the option of somebody driving her up the our store (that takes less then 4 minutes to walk to, we are literally right next to it, thankfully, because neither of us have CARS), and she turned them down, because she forgot her cat didn’t have food. Things like this from the past, continue to make me annoyed on the subject now.
AITA?
Edited: separation in paragraphs, can edit more id needed. Accidentally said neither of us have cats instead of saying cars.
NTA.
This isn’t really about cat food. It’s about shared expenses and shared responsibilities. Your roommate is taking your stuff because “she’s broke” and also not planning ahead for her pet, which is just irresponsible.
It’s not your responsibility, but if you are concerned for her cat, you could take over making sure her cat has food, and have your roommate reimburse you for the cost. My guess is that then she would always just be owing you money, but it would take the cats out of the equation.
Obviously NTA it your money being spent, it seem like your roommate think since you two are friendly or even on neutral terms she can do wtv for time being, just put up some boundaries which you should discuss with them so there isn’t any misunderstandings in the future. Or push them since it sounds like you already have.
So, for more clarity because I’m reading the post and it’s a bit confusing:
– Previously I had fed and purchased both the cats food, based on what I thought would be best for each of them.
-Moved to asking my roommate to purchase her own cat’s food, and feed the cats once a day.
-During that arrangement roomate did not feed the cats at a time I was comfortable with, thought it was too long apart from their last feeding, and let her cat run out of food multiple times.
– Moved to each feeding my our own cats at our own times, seperately.
-Roomate uses my cat’s food because she let her cat run out of food again, when I wake up and read her text I tell her she cannot do that and needs to walk to the store and buy her cat food.
So what happens when she uses all your cat food and you come home with nothing to feed your cat? If she is too broke and lazy to buy her cat food she shouldn’t have a cat.
NTA-but, I am a little confused why a 5 year old cat, which is still young, has gum disease. And why is it not being addressed with medicine?
I honestly don’t know, I dont quite know the exacts of what is going on with her cat, just that because of whatever is going on in her mouth has caused her to often not chew hard food properly, and later throw it up. In the past, I was the one the start the push on getting her cat wet food because I just wanted her cat to eat correctly at a regulated time, partially because she was free fed before but was clearly overweight, and partially because I was bringing in a kitten that could not be free fed the same food as her, and I wanted my kittens diet to be well managed.
Edit: I know my roommate has taken her cat to the vet for this, and I would presume has had necessary procedures done, but I know her cat doesn’t take medicine now.
Because having his teeth cleaned at the vet with sedation is too expensive for her? Mine needed a cleaning at 4 years.
NTA, if it’s a one-time thing then whatever, but if she regularly doesn’t have enough money to even buy food for her cat, on top of being too lazy to go to the store for more cat food, then she shouldn’t have a cat. On top of the fact that dental issues are no joke, and if her cat is having trouble eating due to pain then he should be taken to the vet.
Is she replacing the food she used?
Hide the food in your room. If your roommate cant feed her cat, she needs to rehome it.
NTA, but you certainly sound tiresome. I’m a lot confused about this whole post…especially the ‘because neither of us has cats’ and ‘ I had devised a more elaborate than necessary way to feed them’ etc. Why? You two shouldn’t be roommates if you can’t handle feeding each others cats once in a while. I’m not even sure this is a real post.
Here’s an idea. Why not on pay day, the two of you chip in and buy cat food together? Buy a case and then the next pay day do the same. Ta da….No more running out of cat food.
I’m sorry for my really poor writing skills, it’s one of my worst skills. Our cats are different ages, and have different issues, so they each eat different kinds food.
“Thankfully, because neither of us have cats”
Um, okay? What are we talking about then?