I (f18) live with my grandfather (m81) and recently got my own car. I had told my sister in a fortnight from now I’ll come and pick her up and bring her back here, which was cleared by my mother (f45). Lately I’ve found myself interested in hairstyling again (as a hobby) and went to go find my old American girl style doll to braid her hair. As I picked her up I see a huge chunk or hair missing from the front of her head.
I was livid, this doll sits in the spare room where Lo and behold my sister sleeps when she comes here. Here’s something important you should know, my sister is a known thief of my items. The first thing she took was a stuffed elephant I bought at a thrift store to save for my future children when I have them. The second, my first ever microphone I bought with my own money (I’m a singer) which I found broken on her desk when I visited last.
This doll was a gift from MY great grandmother and grandfather who are both passed away. The doll was called named after the English name of my grandmothers name, which means had even more sentiment to it. This is the straw who broke the camels back. She lives around an hour away which means I can’t just go and take the items back she steals.
I sent her a message asking if she had cut the dolls hair and to me and multiple others her answer wasn’t acceptable:
Me: please be honest with me did you cut the dolls hair?
her: Yeah it was 2 am I had a nightmare I needed something to do.
Me: You realise my great grandmother gave me that doll. If you need something to do you go on TikTok or talk to someone not damage someone else property.
to me she’s old enough to know right from wrong and this was unforgivable to me. I didn’t get a sorry or anything and our mother didn’t even talk to her about it, she actually in a way condoned her actions. So am I the a hole for un inviting her to my place because of her sticky fingers?
sounds like your sister needs a serious lesson on boundaries and personal property. cutting a doll’s hair is like crossing a line in the sand, good for you for standing your ground
NTA wtf that’s unhinged
NTA what were the punishments for the prior issues? Where are your parents?
No consequences, according to Our mum she was “borrowing it.” Which I know is false because I couldn’t find that mic for ages then I found it broken? We have different dads and our stepdad doesn’t get involved.
NTA. You should contact the american girl doll store and ask if her hair can be repaired. They have a doll spa for this kinda stuff, I think. Then tell your sister she owes you the amount it costs to repair it properly.
Sadly it isn’t an American girl just in the style of an American girl 🙁 I’m going to see if I can find a similar hair colour and root some more to fix it but it’s sad I have to do that
I suggest going to the American girl doll subreddit and posting there. Loads of people restore dolls and similar ones. They can help you figure out how to find someone to restore it or how to do it yourself. If it’s not sewn into the doll head, it’s a wig and can be replaced. Even if it was sewn in, it may still be able to be replaced with a wig.
Since it’s your grandparents home I’m not sure you can decide to not have her over (though id hope they’d listen to you), but you can move anything valuable to you into your room and perhaps find a way to lock your door if they insist that she should still come over.
I know others have suggested you should figure out WHY she does this and help her, but realistically it’s actually your parent(s) that should be helping her, not you. You’re her target and I doubt you’ll ever get a real answer out of her unless she’s gone to a good amount of therapy first.
You’re NTA.
Are your parents aware of her behavior? If so, are they addressing it or ignoring it?
Perhaps whatever prompted you to move out is also happening to your sister. She’s acting out because something is wrong.
I didn’t even move out I was forced out, it’s a LONG story. Honestly your probably right which is even more sad
NTA. She is old enough to know better, and the fact she didnt even apologise, I wouldn’t let her over either.
NTA, girl this is nuts.
NTA I wouldn’t have someone like that in my home. If every time they come over something goes missing or gets broken or vandalized then they don’t deserve to be in your home. Set a strong boundary with her and let her know that unless her behavior changes she won’t be welcome back. She’s more than old enough to know what’s she’s doing. She is not getting any consequences in her own home so the consequence is she doesn’t get to come over. If you do decide to have her over in the future remove anything that matters to you from the room she will be staying in. She has to earn your trust though before that happens. She can start by paying you back for all the items she has damaged. If she doesn’t want to then she doesn’t come over.
NTAH. She needs to face consequences for her misdeeds or she’ll just carry on. It won’t bode well for her later in life. Wanton disregard for others feelings and property will alienate her from people.
Also, “had a bad dream so I destroyed something of yours” WTAF? How is that an excuse‽