I (30F) rent a 20 sqm studio apartment with a strict maximum occupancy of 4 people stated in the lease. The lease is only under my name, so I’m responsible if the rule is violated.
Right now the apartment is already shared by four of us: me, my elder sister (31F), my younger sister (26F), and my younger sister’s boyfriend (26M). My younger sister and her boyfriend moved in temporarily after she decided to leave her previous apartment.
My elder sister has 5-year-old twin sons. They normally live in our province with our mom because the schools there are better and the cost of living is lower. My sister works in the city with me and sends allowance for her kids and for our mom, who helps take care of them.
The twins and my mom are flying here next week because the kids have a two-month school vacation, and the plan is for them to stay with us during that time.
Back in January, when we booked the flights, this arrangement was fine because my younger sister and her boyfriend still had their own apartment.
However, in February, my younger sister decided she didn’t want to continue renting her apartment anymore because the bathroom there was shared with the landlady’s family and she said she often had to wait a long time to use it. Because of that, she and her boyfriend moved into our apartment temporarily while they save money to find another place.
Unfortunately, our eldest sister was hospitalized and then passed away at the end of February, so everything became chaotic. My sisters went home to the province on March 1, and I followed on March 4 for the funeral. Because of that, we haven’t really been at the apartment recently to deal with the situation. We are all returning this Saturday, and our mom and the twins arrive next week.
The problem is that if everyone stays, there will potentially be 7 people living in a 20 sqm studio that is only allowed to have 4 occupants, and this would be for around two months, not just a few days.
I’m especially worried because our landlord lives in the same compound, there is CCTV, and they do monthly monitoring and maintenance, so it would be very obvious if too many people were staying there.
I told my younger sister she needs to find another place before our mom and the twins arrive because I don’t want to risk violating the lease and potentially losing the apartment.
She says I’m the AH because I’m only bringing this up now when it’s about a week before they arrive, and they don’t have anywhere else to go on such short notice. I understand why she’s stressed, but I wasn’t able to bring it up earlier because we were all dealing with our sister’s hospitalization and funeral. She does have money to move and they are already looking for a place, but she is still very angry with me about it.
From my perspective, the visit was planned months ago and the situation only changed because she chose to move out of her apartment.
AITA for insisting she find another place before they arrive?
Edit: The original plan was for my mom to stay with my younger sister and her boyfriend at their apartment, and for the twins to stay with us. Their place was only a short walking distance away, so it was easy to go back and forth. That way each apartment would still stay within the occupancy limits.
Edit 2: Some people asked why I allowed my younger sister and her boyfriend to move in at all. She actually told me the same morning that she had already ended her lease. Since it was already done by the time she told me, there wasn’t really an opportunity to discuss it beforehand, so I agreed to let them stay temporarily while they looked for another place.
For context, I’m not from the US and in my country it’s pretty common for siblings or family members to stay together temporarily when someone needs a place, even in small apartments. That’s why letting them stay didn’t seem like a huge deal at the time.
YTA 1 week is insufficient notice.
omg 7 people in a 20 sqm studio?? that’s not even physically possible, you’d literally be sleeping on top of each other. your lease is there for a reason and you’d be risking eviction.
I actually brought this up before when we discussed the kids coming. My sister suggested we just buy a double-deck bed to fit more people. The problem is that even if we try to rearrange the space, it’s still a 20 sqm studio with a strict 4-person lease limit and the landlord lives in the same compound and does regular monitoring. I’m worried that if seven people stay there for two months it would be very obvious and could risk eviction. That’s why I’ve been pushing for them to find another place before my mom and the kids arrive.
Four people was crazy enough already. I can’t believe it was allowed.
Info: Did you tell them when you agreed to let them move in that they needed to be gone by the time your mother and the twins came?
Yes, but only in passing. I mentioned the 4-person lease limit and that they would need to move before my mom and the twins arrive. It wasn’t a formal sit-down conversation, and with everything going on it may not have fully sunk in. I’m bringing it up more clearly now because the timeline is getting close.
Well then YTA
Thats too important to be “in passing”.
“Mom and the twins are coming for 2 months on 3/14. We cannot have 7 people staying here, so you can stay for a month but you need to have other arrangements by the beginning of March”
YTA.
Why weren’t the plans made in January brought up as part of the discussion when your younger sister asked to move back temporarily? When she asked, it should have been mentioned that mom & twins are coming for the summer so you can only stay until then.
Temporary guests length of stay are usually something discussed prior to move in, especially when you already have plans set in stone.
Your sisters passing doesn’t really affect this, as it happened after they moved in.
INFO did you tell your sister when they moved in that they would have to be out by the time your mom arrived?
Also with your mom and 2 kids coming, you’re still over the limit and will be 5 people. And all of it is too many people in a small space.
ESH
There’s not enough room to cram that many people, and you’re all fucking around risking losing your apartment
This shit should have been COLLECTIVELY discussed and decided before ANY decisions or flights were done
Everyone needs to grow up and stop assuming
INFO: Was the sister who passed away the same one living with you? If not, what was your plan for the 2 month vacation since you, sister, mother + 2 children are still over the 4 person limit.
None of this ever happened. 20 sq m is about 215 square feet. There isn’t even room for beds for 4 people…
YTA for allowing this many ppl to move in with you at all. A studio ffs? Tell them to get out and stop leaching off of you.