My (34M) wife (33F) of 7 years has been telling me she wants to get another tattoo. I like tattoo’s, I think they add to her already beautiful self and I’m fully on board, or so I thought. She recently told me she wants to tattoo my name. I was honest with her and told her I would prefer she didn’t as I find it kind of tacky and it comes across as being branded as if I own her. She looked dejected and tried to convince me otherwise but I just reiterated it wasn’t something I was into. I then told her at the end of the day it’s her body, her choice and I would never outright tell her what she can and can’t do. A tattoo isn’t going to make or break our marriage, she’s my best friend and the mother of my child, we’ll spend the rest of our lives together, but she’s definitely disappointed in my reaction.
NTA.
Maybe an alternative would be to do something that reminds her of you? When my dad died, my mom got a little tattoo of a symbol he used on his business cards. One of my friends got his wife’s astrological sign tattooed on him.
I said the same thing, maybe something symbolizing the three of us (me, wife and son), but she seems stuck on the idea of my name specifically. Who knows, maybe she’ll get it and I end up liking it? I feel like I’m trying to convince myself that my feelings towards it are irrational, but I didn’t want to lie about it.
I feel like name tattoos are kind of a curse unless they’re to memorialize someone or they’re your kids.
It kind of seems more like “I feel insecure and have to prove something” or almost like an act of possession–like “you’re stuck with me, I got your name put on my body!”
I wouldn’t like it if my partner got my name tattooed on them or if they wanted me to get their name tattooed on me. Is she going to want you to get her name on you?
NAH. She loves you and wants a way to express that, but it’s understandable that you don’t want your name on another person. There’s also some superstition that tattooing names can cause a breakup, but idk how real that is lol I think there is a compromise if you both are open to it.
Instead of my husband’s name, I got a tattoo that symbolized him. His last name is similar to a fruit, so I got a cute design of the fruit tattooed on me. It wasn’t his name, but it reminds me of him and how much I love him.
NTA. I think it’s great that you support your wife’s passion for tattoos. I saw a comment that someone posted, I thought it was a real good suggestion. Offered to her that instead of your name, she could tattoo assemble that is special to you. Maybe something that would celebrate an accomplishment you had or something you’re proud of?
NTA but maybe come up with an idea together that represents you instead? I get the name thing being tacky depending on the execution but it’s easy to compromise, if you have a favorite animal, character, hobby, etc. or even several things that could be integrated into a small unique piece for her.
Maybe help her come up with ideas that symbolize you or something specific to you instead of just your name in print. Something like your zodiac sign, birth month flower with your birthdate nestled in it or something along those lines that makes her think of you.
On our first date my husband and I took a sunset walk along some train tracks. I also lived in an apartment 1 block from the train tracks so on our anniversary we both got some cool tattoos of a train with a sunset behind it – similar to each other but not identical. No names necessary but still hold really cool personal meaning for both of us.
Edit – NAH because everyone has different preferences
NTA – the only names I’ll ever have tattooed on me are my children’s names.
NAH. Both of your reasons seem reasonable, relatable, and understandable. Maybe you can compromise and find something that reminds her uniquely of you, and get a tattoo of that?
Yeah OP, as a middle ground I suggest getting her to tattoo your dad’s name instead
Nah that would complicate things since it’s right next to your dad’s name.
What’s wrong with my dad?? Please rectify.
The problem isn’t your dad, it’s his name next to my dads name. Maybe opposite sides?
I think it’s just the kiss of death for a relationship. Tattooing your s/o’s name on usually seems to have underlying problems as so many regret it.
I’m sure there are others on here to back me up