Hello, so I grew up with this woman, we both were the only children in our area. We naturally became friends. Lost contact because we just simply grew apart, plus she was a year older than me as well.
In 2022, a friend of mine passed away. She wrote a lengthy post online that showed old pictures, her saying that she was a bestfriend.
My friend’s family and her other friends thought it was weird considering they weren’t even close. Barely acquainted.
In 2023, my sister died and she wrote post about her. Alongside with pictures from our childhood, saying she’ll miss my sister and that she loved her. But my sister wasn’t friends with her at all. They weren’t connected on any social media. Yet she wrote five paragraphs detailing how she felt loss and heartbroken from her sudden passing. At the time I didn’t think anything of it because I was still grieving.
In 2024, my very close friend passed away.
Again this same person wrote another lengthy post. The thing is they never met in person!
She posted screenshotted messages from a conversation they had on my post. Said she’ll miss talking to her. It felt weird so I decided to block her.
Last year, my aunt died. Again she wrote another blog about it. My aunt used to drive us to scouts and whatnot but that’s about it.
My aunt moved to another country even I had never seen her prior to her passing.
Anyways, this girl won lotto, like a ton of money. I made a joke about if she sent me five grand she can write about my death and how I was her bestfriend. The joke didn’t land well. I told her that it was creepy for her post about my sister and that she shouldn’t do that anymore.
Now I got told by her family that my comment/joke counts as cyberbullying.
AITA for telling someone to stop writing about people she didn’t know or wasn’t close to about their deaths?
YTA. You don’t get to determine how much she should grieve people; that’s weird behaviour on your part!
She had pictures with these people just because you think she shouldn’t grieve them doesn’t mean she’s weird for doing so. If anything it’s weird you care so much about it.
You have some weird competition going like I knew them more like who cares? At the end of the day; you can both grieve. It’s not a contest but it seems like you want to make it one.
NTA. I know someone like this where every time someone they knew even remotely dies, they make a huge deal about it.
I guess it would be better to ignore, but whatever sometimes people need a reality check when they’re being phony.
I feel like slight YTA. Don’t get me wrong, this person is being weird af but I think it should’ve been a private conversation about how it made you uncomfortable. After that there’s not much you can do. It doesn’t sound like she’s saying anything mean or disrespectful, just embellishing her relationship with these people to get some attention or whatever. While you may feel like she’s being over the top, who’s to say she isn’t having some big feelings herself? You can’t really control what she posts and since it’s not anything bad about the person it just makes you look like the bad guy to any outsiders. If anything you could just say “I’m glad you still have fond memories from all those years ago” or “I’m happy that the small presence they had in your life had such a big impact.”
How did you know she’d written about your aunt if you blocked her?
Is what she’s doing weird? Maybe. But you can simply choose not to engage with weird. You *did* choose not to engage with it, but then for some reason returned.
“Joking” that she could give you money to buy your friendship? That’s the only truly AH thing in this post.
YTA
YTA. They might’ve been closer than you realize, or this person might be posting grief-stricken comments just to get likes, but you can’t be a gatekeeper on grief. This person might really have felt close to these people. Also, her posts may be annoying, but they don’t really affect you.
I had a friend who I went to see when I found out that my brother had a rare type of cancer and only a few months to live. She had never met my brother and I just needed a shoulder to cry on. By the time I got home from her house she had made a huge ranting post on my FB page like she was his best friend, how devastated she was, and was asking everyone to pray for him. I called her and made her delete it immediately because they had not yet told his teenage granddaughter and I didn’t want her to find out this way. She is a very quiet/reserved person and I never thought she would do something like this. I sure learned my lesson on that.
YTA. Kinda. I understand that it might feel weird for her to make these emotional posts about people you believe she wasn’t close to, especially if they’re people personally connected to you.
Is it weird for her to feel sentimental about a person she’s only had conversations with on a Facebook post, maybe. But people grieve celebrities they’ve never interacted with.
Maybe she’s doing it for attention. Maybe she just experiences high levels of empathy or maybe something else is going on. Doesn’t sound like she’s causing any real harm here. Your original solution to block her was just fine.
But publicly shaming her and making jokes about buying you’re friendship is unnecessary. Either block and move on or address it privately.
What was it like going to a school with only two students?
YTA the joke reminds me of something my creepy uncle would say. Anyone who does that is automatically the asshole.
The only weird memorial – was the friend she didn’t know and used screenshots from your post to pretend she did. You could’ve asked her about that at the time because that is odd.
But she did personally know all the others who passed away.
YTA for thinking you have the right to decide she didn’t know them well enough to write a tribute about them. You don’t know their experiences with that individual or how big of an impact they may have made.
You are also TA for your unnecessary and petty comment. You should’ve just blocked her after taking pics of your post.
How did she see your post if you blocked her?
YTA. And that is not to say that this person isn’t odd as hell. I work with someone who is a trauma tourist and does stuff like this all of the time. But the thing is, it’s not directly impacting you. She has obvious mental health issues and it’s just best to remove yourself, as you have, and just not allow her to exist in your world.
You were the only two children in the area? No school?
A one year age difference mattered more when you were older than when you were small children?
Lost contact – so how does she know about your family and friends who died?
How did your dead friend’s family even know about this woman’s post and why would they assume that this person didn’t know their dead relative?
You blocked this woman before your aunt died but she knew about it – and you were able to see her posts.
A lot of your story does not make any sense.