A little context, I attend a strict boarding school with my best friends, Y and S. Y arrived 6 months after I did 2 years ago, so we’re closer by default, or so I thought. S joined just 3 months ago. Despite the shorter time, S grew closer to Y since they were dorm mates, while I was in another room. Recently, I’ve felt them purposely leaving me out, with Y also growing distant.
Their parents are friends, so Y and S have dinners or outings together, which doesn’t bother me since my parents aren’t friends with theirs, so why would I be invited to those plans? What hurts is they never tell me in advance, and I only learn about them through overhearing or social media. There was literally a time where they planned to eat lunch together outside during school hours, and I found out literally minutes before they left and I didn’t even find out from them, I did from the teacher asking them about it. They also frequently share inside jokes from these events in front of me.
Last week, I moved into their dorm because a bed opened up. Since then, Y has been especially distant, as if she doesn’t really want me there. This has made me think that maybe Y and S has been shit talking me this entire time.
Another thing, the seating arrangements have repeatedly left me isolated, while Y and S sit close to each other.
S is dating this guy in our class, T, and I’m one of the few people who know about it. From past experiences, i know that if the teacher finds out about 2 people in our class dating, then their parents will be informed and the seating plans will be changed so that they aren’t sitting close, at all.
Now, I’m really not proud of this, but because of how tired I was from constantly being left out in these seating plans and just in general, I told the teacher that S was dating T. What happened was that the teacher contacted S and T’s parents, and they got in very big trouble. S’ parents are extremely strict about this kind of stuff so S got in so much trouble, and right now is on non-speaking terms with her parents. She’s also visibly upset recently, and I feel really bad about it. But on the other side, the teacher did in-fact change the seats, so now I’m no longer left out, leading to me being much happier recently. I still feel really bad about it, and S has no idea who told the teacher. But I also feel like I did the right thing because now all three of us are equally included and excluded, making it somewhat fair. AITA?
YTA. How could you not be? You were feeling hurt, so you did something to hurt someone else. The fact that you’re happy with the outcome just makes it worse, to the point where I wonder how real this is.
Yes YTA. You tattled on S to basically tear her down. That is not how you treat a friend. Yikes
I completely agree with you but I think “tattled” is too kind of a word in this case. OP didn’t tattle, she RATTED on her “friends”. And for such a shitty reason too. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s rat.
Yeah, YTA. How do you think this will work out for you if S finds out it was you who blabbed?
YTA jealous asshole
YTA.
No one likes a snitch. YTA.
YTA and a terrible friend.
YTA. A massive one.
That was an incredibly selfish, malicious and COWARDLY thing to do. It is also incredibly irresponsible: you never know how parents might react.
Growing up, a kid on my street was beaten unconscious by her parents and spent three weeks in a coma because an idiot in her class ratted on her. Just like you did.
And no. What you did is NOT fair. And thinking it is is quite likely the stupidest thing I have read on Reddit all day.
I sincerely hope this is rage-bait. If not, you truly are a nasty piece of work!
she’ll figure it out and hopefully soon you’re the type of person I stood away from in school 😅😅😅 always out to make your life better even at the detriment of someone else. grow up
YTA. You acted out of hurt and anger and, in turn, you hurt someone else to make yourself feel better. You may say you feel bad about it but you don’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t also say you’ve been much happier lately and you think you did the right thing because things are fair now. I can guarantee that just because the seats are changed, your relationship has not gone back to normal.
Sweetie, you can’t force someone to be your friend. You can’t force someone to be a closer friend than they want to be. One of the frustrating but unavoidable things in life is that sometimes people grow closer, and sometimes they grow apart. The only thing you can do is be yourself and be a good friend; that’s how you make and keep real friends. What you did here was being a very bad friend – you intentionally did something to hurt and frustrate your friend to try to force them to include you more. YTA.
YTA, a snitch, and oddly obsessed with these two. No wonder they don’t want to hang out with you and clearly why you have no other friends.
YTA
“I’m jealous of my friends being closer than we are so I RATTED them out and violated their privacy and trust”