I’ve just come back from a friends 21st birthday. I haven’t seen this friend in almost a year so it was nice to celebrate her birthday and catch up with friends.
One of the girls, we’ll call Millie (20f) and I were talking random chit chat, just talking about what we’ve been both up to since we last saw each other. This was a few hours into the party where we both a bit tipsy and goofing about. Millie went to go grab a cupcake from the buffet table. When she got back she jokingly tried to put icing on my nose, I backed off laughing, we were both giddy at this point. She continued to do it, so as a joke I grabbed some of the icing and rubbed it on her cheek.
She immediately stopped laughing and almost looked like she was going to cry. She then ran off to the bathroom, I went to go check on her asking if she was ok. She was crying and told me to get out. I was so confused, one second ago we were just messing around, now she is getting upset because I put icing on her face.
I went back out and let her calm down. I asked another girl who we both knew to go check on her to see if she was ok. About 10 minutes later, my other friend came out and explained that Millie was upset because I ruined her makeup. Apparently a chunk of her makeup came off and she was now feeling self conscious and wanted to go home.
The whole night I sat there uncomfortably because no one would speak to me. I asked the birthday girl if she had spoken to Millie and if it would be a good idea if I go speak to her to apologise. She told me that Millie is still upset and she thinks it’s best if I leave her alone to cool down.
Throughout the night I had other people come up to me and say how uncool and unnecessary that whole situation was and how it was my fault. All I wanted was to speak to Millie and apologise but she refused to speak to me.
I honestly don’t see how I was in the wrong, we both were goofing about and it wasn’t like I do it maliciously. I decided to leave the party early coz of how awkward it made everything.
So Reddit, AITA??
Edit: Just clarify it was on her cheek, not her whole face!! I apologise for not being more specific on the area and how much I put on.
Also a couple people asked how close me and Millie are. We’ve been friends for about 3 years. We used to work together. We’ve been on many nights out and we’re both known for being goofy and joking some. I haven’t seen her in a few months as I started a new job just before December.
A bit on the nose is different than all over the face.
YTAH
“Rubbed it on her face” is really conveniently vague compared to the nose.
Honestly, depending on where you rubbed it, how much, and how hard, it’s gonna fuck her makeup up… obviously. Doing a little on the nose is cutesy and easily able to be cleaned up. On her cheek/under her eyes/forehead? Nah.
Having a big wipe mark where your makeup was looks unsightly and it makes you feel even worse. You hyperfocus on it. Especially in your twenties. Everyone may have responded slightly dramatically, but it’s a 21st birthday party where everyone is probably sloshed. I also cannot find a point where you reference this Millie person as a friend, if you weren’t very close, this will probably come off wrong because of that as well.
Icing on the nose vs “rubbing it in her face.” Of course YTA. Even if she wasn’t wearing makeup, it may have hurt.
Completely besides the point, and doesn’t take away from your asshole-ishness, but I’m glad I don’t wear enough makeup for it to come off in “chunks.”
I see your side of things but I’m afraid I agree with the other commenter, you did too much sweetheart. All you can do is apologise even though you both were goofing around. It’s embarrassing yes but you’re old enough to take accountability for your actions.
NTA
Why is your nose different than her cheek? only reason she couldn’t put anything on you is because you backed off. It’s just her cheek, not like you rubbed it on an eye. I wear makeup even to go grocery shopping and I still find this to be an overreaction.
The tip of your nose rarely has much makeup on it anyways. If you have a full face of makeup and someone swiped at your cheek, and you have inflamed skin, you’re gonna have a big red Nike symbol where your makeup was haha. I have bad rosacea, if this happened to me I would look like I’m having an isolated allergic reaction lol
Uh, that’s definitely nowhere near universal. The tip of my nose has been one of the reddest spots on my face since I started using makeup as a young teen. If I use minimal makeup, I have concealer under my eyes and on the tip of my nose (and probably also green color corrector on my nose). My cheeks vary, but my nose is always red.
NTA bordering on ESH
She tried to put icing on your face first, so it makes sense to expect you might do the same if you were both being silly together.
Alcohol makes people do stupid things that don’t make a lot of sense.
If you only put a little icing vs smashing it all over her face, I think she is overreacting as she instigated.
I’m ticked at myself for reading that whole thing
nah mate you’re good. she started the icing thing, you matched her energy, she just didnt expect it to mess up her makeup. thats not on you. sucks it killed the vibe tho.. hope yall can laugh about it soon
**(NTA)**
NTA.
So Millie can try to put frosting on your face but when you do it…she cries? Huh? You didn’t even cover her face with it. Millie wildly overreacted
See this is what shocked me. We’ve gone on multiple nights out together, we’re both very silly and mess around a lot. I never thought me putting some icing on her cheek would affect her so much. It was completely unexpected
NTA It’s called karma. She thought it would be funny to put icing on you. But how dare you put icing on her
I feel YTA you took the joke too far. A dot of icing on the nose isn’t the same as smearing icing across someone’s face
Read a comment where you said you were likely a bitt overly aggressive doing it as well…. ya you’re YT