My friend Maria and I agreed last summer that we would go skiing together. We found a tour that included transportation and accommodation in the mountains. When it was time to book, I asked her several times to check the travel dates, but she kept postponing it. At the same time, she said we should agree quickly while the price was good. Eventually, the prices went up and most spots were taken. None of the remaining dates worked for me, so we decided to organize the trip ourselves.
While planning it, Maria asked if her boyfriend, her brother, and his girlfriend could join us. I said I didn’t mind, although I’ve often felt uncomfortable on previous trips because I was the only one without a partner. I have a boyfriend, but due to the situation in my country, he can’t travel with me. In the past, my ex also couldn’t join these trips, so I was always the “third wheel.”
Because I live in another city, it takes me 11 hours to get there. I could only take one day off work, so we agreed on a Friday–Sunday trip. Later, her brother suggested extending it from Thursday to Monday. That would require me to take two extra days off, which I couldn’t manage.
I called Maria and explained that I didn’t want to feel left out again and that extending the trip didn’t work for me. She hung up and later texted that I had ruined everything because I had promised to go. I apologized for changing my mind, but nothing had been booked yet.
She went skiing without me and hasn’t replied to my apology.
AITA?
*Update*
When we first found the organized tour, I asked Maria multiple times to choose dates. She kept postponing it, even though she was saying we should agree quickly while prices were good. By the time she was ready to book, prices had increased and most options were gone. I felt frustrated because I had tried to plan ahead.
Also, when she asked if her boyfriend, her brother, and his girlfriend could join, I agreed mainly because they are her family and I felt awkward refusing. Looking back, that may have been my mistake.
Another detail is that I specifically told her from the beginning that I could only go for 2-3 days because I live in another city and it takes me 11 hours to travel. Extending the trip to Thursday-Monday would have required two additional days off one for travel and one for Monday which I genuinely couldn’t manage.
Nothing had been booked yet (no accommodation or transfer) when I changed my mind.
They went on the trip anyway, I found out from a story on Instagram.