So, me (F18) work in a theater and have a lot of colleagues, who I have a good relationship. This year, we got a few more people to be on our team, and I don’t know them that well yet.
I got a new perfume from my grandmother for Christmas and I love it. The perfume is caramel scented (one of my favorite scents). One day I got to work and it was hot outside, so I used the perfume when I got inside. (It was only me and my colleague there.) When i out it back into my bag, she asked me if i sprayed myself with something and I told her yes, with my perfume. She then proceeded to get mad at me for using it, because it make her nauseous. I didn’t know what to say to that… like do I apologize for using it??
I don’t know what to think, since I don’t think it’s my fault for not knowing it, but I told some of my friends and they didn’t say I wasn’t at fault here. I’m just confused now.
Should I stop using it when I’m going to work and she’s there too? Do I just ignore it? I obviously don’t want to make her uncomfortable or anything, but I also very much love my perfume.
So AITA for using it?
EDIT: I was on the bus for 1 hour before that, I was sweating very much, probably smelling from it too. Should have said that.
ESH
She shouldn’t have snapped at you when clearly neither of you k ew the perfume would make her nauseous prior to it happening.
On the other hand you’re still considering wearing it when you know she’ll be there
Moderate YTA. I suspect I will get down voted, but for me, spraying perfume in a public place with others around is an AH thing to do. It STINKS as it sprays out and there’s a cloud of it for ages which anyone walking into the space then gets onto them as well as suffering the smell. Perfume on you is fine, in the air everyone else has to share it isn’t. Spray at home and in the bathroom elsewhere.
While I wouldn’t go as far as to give this verdict, as someone with asthma, I wish others thought more about this.
I had to go to the emergency room once because of a co-worker’s excessive use of perfume. I have asthma and multiple chemical sensitivity and get migraines from it. Even after a week of vacation, I still couldn’t breathe because of that horrible crap.
While people do have the right to wear perfumes, they do not have the right to make other people sick.
Yes, many people are sensitive to certain scents, allergic even as some innocent scents can cause severe reactions
NAH. You didn’t know she was sensitive to scents, so you’re not an asshole. She was suddenly nauseous because of something you did, which would make anybody cranky, so she’s not an asshole either. But you would be TA if you wear scents to work again, knowing that she’s sensitive. It won’t kill you to not wear perfume.
At my work place we aren’t allowed and kind of fragrance because so many people have sensitivities. You should not wear any know of perfume to work. ASide from that, outcome that smells like sugar? That would make me sick too.
I think the concentration of your perfume is important. The human nose doesn’t feel the usual smells/scents after a while, so we think that the perfume has evaporated from us, and that’s why some people spray another dose of it on themselves. In such cases, no matter how delicate the scent is, in high concentrations it has a stomach-turning effect when you enter a new room. 1-2 sprays before leaving are enough for the whole day.
YTA. Using strong perfumes while at work is usually not recommended, doesn’t matter if you work in an office, restaurant, movie theater, etc. Many workplaces even have a policy about this. A lot of people are sensitive or allergic to perfumes.
Why would you insist on wearing it even after someone told you it bothers them? Just wear it when you’re not working.
YWBTA if you wear the perfume at work now that you know she has a sensitivity to it. Wearing the perfume the first time was not an a h move unless your employer has a policy against using scented products at work. Many employers do.
Perfume and cologne are things that should only be able to be smelled if you are hugging someone, or maybe standing right next to them. It should never be strong enough that others can smell it from even just standing a couple feet away. You also really shouldn’t be spraying the perfume in an enclosed public space as it will linger in the air. Yes, YTA if you continue to wear the scent that you have been asked not to wear, especially if you are wearing enough of it that people can smell it when they are not right up next to toy.
You just dont spray yourself in work spaces thats all
Soft YTA. People need to be more conscious about their perfumes and scents. Frankly, they’re not appropriate for the workplace. Many people do have chemical sensitivity. And people who wear perfumes are oblivious to how smelly that stuff is.
Soft YTA. As a migraine sufferer, strong smells can trigger a full on debilitating migraine. You said you sweat on the bus. Perfume WILL NOT COVER UP THE SMELL OF SWEAT!! You will just smell of a sweat and perfume concoction.
Best advice is if you sweat before work, invest in some whole body deodorant and apply that before getting on the bus. Keep that or deodorant wipes with you when you go to work if you feel musty. They also make feminine wipes as well.
Not everyone will like the same scents as you. Be the bigger person and respect your work colleagues if they find a perfume offensive.