I’m 28 . My dad’s girlfriend is bothering me going into my room it’s not even dirty . There’s stuff on the dressers. I’m not even allowed to have stuff on the dressers . The only shared spaces are the kitchen, living room and bathroom. The girlfriend ‘s son lives with us and he doesn’t pay rent which I find not fair . I have to keep food in my room she’s taken up all the cabinet space. She does cook dinner but I really don’t want to sit at the table with family and I feel like I’m obligated not too.
I am on food stamps and she doesn’t want me to report her on the household list because it might effect my food stamps which is illegal .
I know there should be a lease in place .
I have very coarse and brittle hair so it knots up even after I brush it and my dad is threatening to cut it. He says I have to take care of myself better when I take care of myself fine . I really want to sue for the over 800 dollars I have paid him back . I also was taken off the phone plan . I pay for my own phone completely which is better then having him complain saying I don’t deserve it.
I’m sorry you’re going through this and based on how the sub is set up, your post may get taken down. Either way, if you’re paying rent, they don’t get to dictate what happens in your space. Is there a formal rental agreement? If not, I would ask for one so it’s easier to communicate boundaries. Best of luck friend.
Info: everyone here seems to be treating you like a child, and you seem to be letting them. Dad’s girlfriend shouldn’t be in your room without your permission. Dad should have no opinion on a 28 year olds hair.
Are you unable to take care of yourself?
I don’t know if there is any rules about replying but yes I am able to take care of myself. I used to be diagnosed with clinical depression and I still get spouts of depression.
Then I’d say you’re not the asshole here, however if you try to complain about the son, or sue, you would be.
You’re in a crappy living situation right now, but at 28 your dad can charge you whatever rent he feels like – and can \*not\* charge other people. Nobody should be entering your room though.
You need to prioritise getting out of there.
It’s clear you are being used. Food stamp fraud will get you in trouble. You need to get out of there ASAP.
NTA
Dad is not a safe family member if this is your life at 28. What about your mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles? Who checks in on you regularly?
NTA.
Why not rent another place outside if you’re paying rent anyways?
Because my income fluctuates.
Move out.
When you live with parents you get treated like a kid.
Go.
I’m trying to figure out how to leave because I don’t make much and section 8 is gone or not accepting applications.
NTA. You are a 28yo paying tenant, yet you are being treated like a controlled child. Your father’s threat to cut your hair is a threat of assault, and his girlfriend is violating your privacy while trying to pressure you into welfare fraud. You have every right to be left alone and have your boundaries respected. Since they are taking your money but refusing to treat you like an adult, your best move is to protect your food stamps and find a way to move out immediately.
I’m the only one using the food stamps, I cut off my sister when she graduated high school and turned 18. It’s not my job to provide food for others unless they’re kids or elderly.
She’s not paying rent either .
NTA
I’m not sure where you live, but would you be-able to find a normal roommate situation in your area for what you currently pay your dad?
Or like someone else said, perhaps you can make a deal to rent a room from a more “rational” member of your family.