To summarize this at best of my ability is that my best friend (F), recently had broken up with her boyfriend. Now, this was veryy unexpected for me since they seemed to be going quite well with each other, or so i thought. I came to the conclusion that i was told the day after it happened, not right away, and i realised this because he had mssgd me at night but deleted the message after. I didn’t ask further what that message had been, thinking it might have been just an accident. Now, the thing is all i know was that it was a mutual decision and that’s it. I believe i will be told the full story later after she returns from her vacation, but to be frank the idea of checking up if he is doing okay (without asking an explanation of the situation) has crossed my mind. Yet, i won’t do it because it feels like i would be betraying my bsf by going behind her back to check if her ex is handling things well. I had thought of asking or letting her know first, but that would be stupid since a possibility of hurting her or adding to her grief might exist. For your information, i have hung out with this guy in a few settings with my best friend, we do consider each other friends and we both respect each other. Should i just mind my own business afterall?
YTA – don’t get in the middle of their situation.
honestly i get it. u just wanna make sure he’s okay, esp if he’s been a part of ur life too.. but yeah it can be tricky when ur bff’s involved. u dont wanna step on any toes or make things weird, esp with how fresh the breakup is, might just best to wait it out, let her process it on her own terms..
YTA if you reach out to him before you get more details from your bsf. He has other friends, I’m sure, and he can rely on them. It will probably look like you’re fishing for details if you reach out to him before hearing from your friend
Not your business. Leave him alone and wait for her return. If she comes back and finds out you messaged him—it won’t be good
Do you “like” this guy? Like like? Cause that’s the ONLY reason I would see reaching out to him, if so kiss your bff goodbye.
If you meant like as in romantic sense, i would say absolutely not. Not in a million years. And this misinterpretation of my intentions was a fear of mine in this post. I truly consider him a friend as he has helped me and respected me so far, so the idea of me reaching out to him was just out of respect to just check if he is alright, since he did love her. But yeah the comments here are right, my bsf wellbeing is my priority not his
Yta it isn’t your business stay out of it
Why would you want to get yourself involved? Only reason I could think of is you’re possibly interested in him but if not then why?
NAH, but… Oh, Youth…
This is all very silly.
> that i was told the day after it happened, not right away
That’s right away. Your friend just went through a breakup. Dealing with her feelings are a lot more important than sending out relationship updates. You should not be upset by this. This is a silly thing to think important.
>I believe i will be told the full story later after she returns from her vacation
Or not, which would be fine. She doesn’t OWE you an explanation. She doesn’t owe ANYONE an explanation. She probably will eventually, sure, but that’s up to her.
>i would be betraying my bsf by going behind her back to check if her ex is handling things well.
You would be betraying your “bsf” if you *fuck* her ex.
You’re allowed to … talk to people. I have friends. Sometimes they split. I still talk to them both. They are both my friends. Because we’re all adults…
Just like your “bsf” doesn’t owe anyone an explanation, or an IMMEDIATE update, you are allowed to talk to people you consider a friend after a breakup.
Terrible advice omg , please don’t listen
You would be TA if you reached out to him. It would be weird to be overly invested in this. Esp if you and him are only acquainted through/because of her from the sound of it. Break ups happen every day; he will be okay.
MYOB
YWBTA if you meddle
Mind your own business. But you have “other” plans, don’t you? YTA. I would venture to guess, you like him.