My GF (40) and I (38M) have been together 6 years. Lived together for 3. We live in a basement apartment with 2 parking spots in a driveway. We have different work schedules and often one will get home before the other and start earlier the next day so I will go out in the evening and swap the vehicles in the driveway accordingly. So the person who leaves first doesn’t have to do it in the morning.
Last night my GF went off on me about how I don’t want her to drive my vehicle. She thinks cause we’re in a relationship that it shouldn’t matter what vehicle we take. For the record I have no issue with her driving my vehicle, nor me driving hers. I was just thinking practically. I drive my car, she drives hers and we take care of the gas for our respective vehicles.
I explained this and she said I’m just making excuses for me not wanting her to drive my vehicle, And that I’m “not 100% in the relationship”. We both have responsibilities at work that require keys and our work keys are on our personal keys. If she took mine or I took hers we’d have to make arrangements to swap keys at some point in the day.
I went to bed completely at a loss and thinking her way of thinking is crazy. I mean yes, I would rather drive my vehicle. It’s mine with all my settings and seat and mirrors aligned. So every time we swap vehicles we’re adjusting this. Just seems completely impractical. AITA?
NTA, I’m the same way for me it’s not practical to use anyone else’s car and want to take mines
NTA I don’t see why you moving the cars would be a problem at all?? Bizarre
I’m going to put it out there that maybe her concerns have nothing to do with vehicles, and that she is projecting a different issue onto this context. Just a thought.
Huge red flag
nta
gf has issues with respecting boundaries and is trying to guilt you into submission.
NTA, you both have your own cars designated for both of you. Also are you both insured on each others’ vehicles? If not, then double NTA – it will cost you a ton in the chance that you drive uninsured and get into an accident.
NTA. She wants your car.
Is it newer/nicer/more envy-worthy than hers?
And what’s the story on insurance? Would she be covered if she got into an accident in your car? And does she even have insurance?
Here’s your red flag: 🚩
NTA: sounds like she’s looking for reasons to complain that aren’t there.
nta, the “not 100% in the relationship” sounds like she may actually be upset about something else, which may warrant a conversation
NTA, my parents have been married for over 35 years and they have their own cars. They’ll borrow the other’s car when needed, but they drive their own car 95% of the time
NTA
Weird thing to have an issue with.
Nta but bro if she’s questioning if you’re 100% after 6 years is that not kind of glaring that she’s frustrated there’s no ring?
NTA, nobody wants to have to randomly drive a different car to work!! All of your stuff is in your car and the seats and mirrors are adjusted properly for you. I would 10000% do the same as you and move the cars before I would drive my spouses car.
NTA. What a weird thing to get worked up about. You’re “not 100% in the relationship” is manipulative, not sincere. What’s her real angle? Do you have a nicer car than she does?
BTW: if she’s not on your insurance, she doesn’t get to drive your car. Period. Same with her car. Either of you get into an accident in the others car, insurance won’t cover it.