I’m a 33F and a frequent visitor at a cafe in my city. My wife, 34F, is longtime friends with one of the co-owners from grade school. Let’s call her Irene. The other owner is her husband, Curtis.
When I say I frequent this cafe, I mean I’m there 3 to 4 days a week. I work from my laptop there from opening to closing, order a lot of food and drinks, and invite friends to check it out because I genuinely like the place. I have a good rapport with Irene and Curtis. My wife is closer to Irene, but I consider her a friend. Curtis is fine and I never thought much about him until this.
One morning I ordered my usual. Curtis greeted me and took my order. I went to get water from their cooler and when I turned the knob, a HUGE glob of gunk/mold fell into my cup. Curtis walked by, I showed him, and he said it was gross and that he’d clean it.
Before he could, an elderly customer poured water from the same cooler. I told him he might want to wait since there was mold in the nozzle and Curtis hadn’t cleaned it yet. The other customers thanked me and were chill. I also have contamination OCD, so I did what I’d hope someone would do for me.
I went back to my seat, but Curtis suddenly stood over me and said angrily, “Did you just tattle on me?”
I said, “I told them you were coming back to clean it.”
He asked if I showed them my cup, and I said with my OCD I’d want someone to warn me. He stormed off and took the cooler to the back. The tension was not ignorable, so I grabbed a to go cup and left. It felt like he approached me the way he talks to staff, not customers. And since I don’t work there, I don’t need him pretending he’s the boss of me. I can’t imagine him ever approaching another customer that way.
I thought it would blow over after some space but what made it worse is Irene texted my wife. Part of her text said:
“Alright, so here’s the thing: it doesn’t sit well with either of us that she volunteered information like that to other customers. It could be damaging to our business. She told Curtis and he was handling it. That’s all that needed to be done.”
My issue is: I don’t work there. I didn’t lie or exaggerate. I calmly warned someone. Curtis didn’t actually handle it because he wasn’t there when the customer poured the water, and he basically admitted he wouldn’t have told them anyway.
Another text from Irene said the only reason it became a big deal is because it was shared with another table and that going forward issues should come straight to them.
My issue is… this only became a big deal because Curtis approached me the way he did then got his wife to text my wife how I should move forward as if she’s my mom. I feel like they are making me take responsibility for their mistakes and their embarrassment.
So… am I the asshole?
NTA. What did they expect you to do?? Sit there and watch someone else drink compromised water? Like, you have to be actively not cleaning that for a GLOB of mold to fall out like that. They’re fucking lucky you didn’t try to report that somewhere!
Of course they’re unhappy you warned someone else. The fact it was allowed to get to the stage were gobs of mold fall out mean they’ve been actively ignoring it and were likely embarrassed. Anyone would warn another customer about something like that. Somebody could have gotten sick.
Would they have rather the elderly person find that and report them? They’re lucky someone else didn’t see it and report it to a health and safety inspector.
It should have been marked as out of order as soon as the issue was brought up.
NTA.
NTA
As soon as Curtis knew there was mold, he should have removed the cooler to prevent any customers from drinking water from it. What is going to hurt the business is other customers seeing mold in water (or worse, getting sick from it)., not you warning an elderly couple.
No way would I be ordering from them again. Gross. You could have done worse, like report them to board of health. Or whatever you have where you live. They’re lucky you just told a customer.
NTA. Sounds like they haven’t got their hygiene shit in order, and it’s far better you pointing it out than a customer.
Imagine if it was not addressed and they ended up sending someone to hospital?
Let them huff it out…. you did the right thing.
NTA. Did they expect you to just let people drink mold?
There is no world in which you are the AH for this, but Curtis definitely is. NTA.
I might even suggest reporting to the licensing board or Department of Health. If something that a customer sees got that gross, what are they doing in the places that customers can’t see?
NTA. I guess you could have just said “it’s out of order. The owner is coming back to take care of it”, and not specify it was mold. But really, the owners should be taking better care of their equipment. What you saw was a health hazard. They’re lucky it wasn’t found by someone who would blast the name of the establishment all over the internet.
NTA. It actually wouldn’t be cool for Curtis to talk to one of his employees like this either.
NTA I would’ve done the same whether or not I knew the owners personally. It would be messed up to just let someone drink moldy water that could possibly kill someone.
Honestly? I had a hard time getting past your description of what fell into your cup. The cooler should have been removed immediately. That it wasn’t, others needed to be warned.
Major question, how did it get in that condition and what else is being neglected in that place?
I’d be finding another place to work, hangout, eat….
Ew. Curtis should have *immediately* taken the cooler away so no one else could possibly use it. Obviously they aren’t cleaning it, and that makes me wonder what else aren’t they cleaning regularly.
NTA Curtis did not handle that well. I mean I could hope that he thinks of you as more than just a customer so could be more blunt with you…but that really isn’t it, he’s angry you didn’t help cover a health risk up! I’d be finding a new café after that.
Your response: “Alright so here’s the thing: mold in your disgusting place doesn’t sit well with me and I don’t give a FUCK how mad you are about it”
In the biz & you’re NTA. I would have immediately removed the cooler, or put a sign up if it was a fixed cooler. Maybe he was going to do that, who knows? I may have trained my STAFF to say “hold on, that cooler is out of commission temporarily!” To avoid a stigma about our business, but I would never expect a CUSTOMER to be trained enough not to mention the word mold