I (F/27) was over at my BF (M/31) house last night. Brief backstory: He works as a high school history teacher and spends most of his day either at school or reading/grading at home. He played multiple sports back when he was in high school but no longer has any form of an active lifestyle. I work remotely for a software company. I played collegiate softball at a small D2 school, and still try to workout a few days a week, mostly just for my own health. Some days I just do something small at home and some days I go to the gym after work.
Friday night my BF was still in his chair reading, I hadn’t gotten my workout in yet for the day and was kinda bored, so I decided to start doing some bodyweight exercises while I waited for him to finish (pushups, squats, lunges, etc.).
For some reason he started to get annoyed by it and claimed I was being distracting to him, and that he also didn’t understand why I would want to workout like that at 9pm. He said I should be relaxing that late at night. Then he asked why I was always so obsessed with working out anyway since I haven’t played softball for over 5 years.
During some part of my “defense”, I mentioned that he should be glad that I’m strong because it means that I could handle myself if I ever needed to. That led to a bit of an argument about how even though I am in shape and strong for my size, compared to any average male, I still couldn’t defend myself. That got me pretty pissed so I shot back something about how I’d probably be able to kick his butt since all he does is sit around all day.
I guess he felt like I was attacking his male pride or something because he started to turn super red, he even put his book down and said he didn’t want to hurt me, but to trust him, I wouldn’t be able to anything if he was actually trying.
Fast forward 20 min and we decided to test it out. I think we were both genuinely curious. We agreed to keep it friendly, but competitive. We both agreed not to take it easy on the other person unless we were hurting them.
Long story short: I won. He asked for a rematch and I won again. I legitimately didn’t know if I’d be able to take him since he has nearly 50lbs on me. But the strength and endurance differences were both clearly on my side.
He got all pissy and sat back down with his book and refused to talk to me the rest of the night. Right before bed he told me I was being a B… The next morning he just laid in bed reading, so I got up and left. He basically hasn’t spoken to me since.
I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Neither of us got hurt and I even thought it was kinda fun. I understand men and their ego and how many of them would feel about losing to a girl. But Michael has never seemed to be that kind of guy in over a year that we’ve been together. I make more money than him and he has never cared. But now he seems to be freaking out. Am I the asshole here?