I am a 22(F) renting with my sister 25(F) and a 23(M). I frequently go on weekend hiking trips and when I’m away I tell my sister that if she has friends over it’s fine if they sleep in my room (as long as they are female). It’s just I don’t feel comfortable having men in my room especially when I’m not there. I have personal belongings in there.
Now I’ve made this rule clear to both of them, and as I’m not as close with my roommate I’ve said I’d prefer if he just didn’t let anyone in my room. Last weekend I was away with my sister for a wedding and when I got back I realized that my bed had been used as it was not made. (I always make my bed in the morning). Turns out that my male roommate had his mates over and one got too drunk (and had to stay the night), so he put him in my room. At hearing this I got really upset and asked why he didn’t take the couch and put his mate on his own bed and in response he said "Why would I sleep on the couch when there is a perfectly good bed available". I yelled at him and said I can’t trust him anymore. AITA for wanting my personal space to be respected
NTA, there’s no bed “available”, he’s not entitled to your bed. He should’ve made the friend sleep on the couch or have someone drive him.
NTA, you stated a clear boundary and he disrespected it
Start locking your door. This is the first time you noticed, he surely has done it before.
Of course NTA, couldn’t even be bothered to make the bed so you know they didn’t change the sheets. Who wants to sleep where a sweaty drunk stranger slept. So rude
NTA , He’s definitely weird for letting him sleep there and for not even thinking to ask you. I’d be adding a lock and camera if you continue to leave on weekends.
Defs, NTA. It’s ridiculous that he views your bedroom as available when you aren’t there. That is not a personal space, it is private. You set clear boundaries and he needs to respect that. I swear he is gaslighting you
NTA. Now you know your rm does not respect reasonable boundaries. That is useful information going forward. Lock your stuff up tight.
I am shocked that you are open to anyone using your bed when you aren’t there male or female. That is a deeply personal space OP and your room is full of your private things. I’d be locking that door the second I was leaving for longer than my work day. Y T A but only to your own self. Roommate is TA
NTA. This is a big boundary to cross, especially when it’s been laid out so clearly. Are you able to change the lock on the door so only you have a key?
NTA. Your roommate was very disrespectful and out of line. I wouldn’t trust him anymore either. In fact, I would be installing a new doorknob that locks from the outside so that if I left for an extended period again I wouldn’t have to worry.
But a handle with a key lock. 20$ and a screwdriver is all you need. Keep the old handle and put it back on when you move out.
NTA. That’s a huge boundary cross. Install a doorknob lock (keep the old knob so you can put it back when you move out) and make sure if you go away your room stays locked
NTA. Your safe space was violated. That being said, you should be picky about who sleeps in your bed regardless of gender. Get a lock with an external key, or better yet an electronic lock that you can give a temporary code to only whom you deem worthy or appropriate of sharing your space. You must realize that this likely isn’t the first time this has happened, just the first time it was done so blatantly and with no forethought to clean up the evidence.
NTA I’d be upset too. Even if he meant well, it’s still ur room and he should have ask u first.