I (14f) came on this app because im annoyed and literally am getting mixed messages everywhere i go. My mom (38) is a hard working dedicated woman. I admire her and respect her and ofc i love her. For the past few days, ive been sick. Like bad. Dizziness all day, no motivation , no hunger, throwing up, no taste, etc.
As of being sick and just in general, i love to sleep and go to sleep pretty early after dealing with MY responsibilities. Yesterday was like no other and everything was smooth. I went to sleep early and woke up early like usual. As a side note, my mother and the adults in my home (my older brother (20) then my sister (19)) go to sleep late (1am – 6am). idc bc they usually wake up at an reasonable time to deal with the younger kids (4 of them). oldest is 8 and youngest is 1. per usual they wake up, i watch them for a while, then my mother is SUPPOSED to wake up and take care of them. So i waited. after her not waking up at her usual time (around 11am) i decided to make them breakfast and feed the cats.
it reached 12:30pm and im reaching a limit. i usually am the type to never get close with my siblings and after a while of being around them i get moody (they are like The Chipmunks but if they were all alvins) and i was running around trying to make sure they dont destroy the whole house. by 1pm i ws already done. i ws tired of babysitting them for 8 hours without any help, explanation, or anything. i shouldve maybe woke my family but my mom locks her door and my siblings are moody when they dont sleep good.
By 2pm THATS when my mom woke up because i was making the baby a bottle and she was having a big fuss. the FIRST thing my mom does is yell. yell about the mess that was being made as i was making the bottle, said i ws neglecting, and was crashing out. she knew i was sick, she knows how i am, so i kinda blew my lid and started yelling about i dont even remember anymore.
im not the ”get-mad“ type, im quite down to earth because i understand my age and i understand respect and love and compassion. because of ME. i taught MYSELF how to love, and care, and be selfless. she didnt teach me any of that. and i told her just that and locked myself in the bathroom because i still hadnt taken a shower. I havent done anything for myself this whole day but im afraid i just overreacted and am just being self centered. Any help?
NTA. Sounds like she was hungover sleeping in
You don’t sound 14
Could be because they’ve been parentified. I typed like OP when I was 14 but that was because I was forced to grow up early and be more mature because I was raising my brother
NTA – the audacity of saying *you’re* neglecting anyone. You’re a minor, she’s supposed to care for you *and* the rest of her children. You are not an extra parent. Helping out is one thing, but you’re not supposed to have anything near main responsibility for four younger children in the household.
First of all, NTA. But more seriously, that is a really horrible situation to be in. You are 14 years old and you were taking care of your siblings whilst you’re mother slept in until 2pm. Does she work late? If not, she is neglecting the children she chose to bring into this world including you. I recommend you contact Social Services wherever you are but oh my god, I feel this is more serious than this sub can reasonably answer. May I ask, why is your mother up until so late and what time do the younger siblings go to bed?
no you’re not the ah at all. you did what you were supposed to do and did a kindness for your family, your siblings aren’t your responsibility, they’re your mums.
honestly in my opinion your mum was really disrespectful and inconsiderate to you. you were already not feeling well and picked up your own and her responsibilities. it’s really irresponsible parenting to sleep with your door locked when you have a one year old.
please give yourself some grace, yelling is a normal reaction to the stress you were put under. i hope you’re okay and have had time to rest, if you ever need to talk my dms are always open 🫶
NTA. Three adults in the house shouldn’t leave a sick 14 year old in charge of a bunch of toddlers while they sleep til 2pm.
I’m sorry you don’t have more agency in this situation. Idk what else you can do other than start knocking on doors and saying “I’m fourteen dude”. Sending you hugs ❤️
NTA – how many kids are there?
Whomever made the kids is responsible for them, that’s the rule. If you didn’t make any, your not responsible for getting them ready
NTA – oh honey, you were bound to blow up sooner or later. Yes, siblings can assist with the everyday mess, especially when it comes to young kids and little adult help. However, you supposedly have PLENTY of adults there who could help you, and instead you were the only one responsible for 4 babies for 8 HOURS! That’s a full time job that you completed WHILE SICK!
Which by the way, you really shouldn’t be around any of your little siblings while this sick, for fear of spreading to the rest of them. That’s only going to make the house MUCH more chaotic to live in, especially with the littlest ones.
What you did was you stood up for yourself. Unfortunately, there’s not too many other avenues, but you might ask your mom for a conversation when all heads have cooled. Let her know that you didn’t like blowing up the way you did, but that you’d hit your limit. That you’ve gone unappreciated despite taking care of 4 little ones for the equivalent of a full work day while in poor health, all so she and your older siblings could get in some extra sleep. (This advice going for if your mother is otherwise a reasonable adult, of course. Don’t do anything you feel would put you in an unsafe position.)
NTA. You’re a kid yourself, and that kind of responsibility does not belong to you. Your mom’s behavior makes a good case for criminal negligence. There are 7 of you under her roof, 5 of which are minors?? Hard work alone isn’t enough to make that a happy or functional home. She needs help, and should not have to rely on her own children for it.
NTA the only AH here is your mom.
Study hard and try to get into clubs and orgs at school so you are home less.
NTA. I have a 15yo stepchild and I’ve maybe asked him for help just whilst I shower, or cook etc a handful of times. His little siblings are 6 and 7 (he’s lived with us since before they were born). Even then he didn’t have to do anything for them – just play with them for 20 minutes while I was still in a nearby room, and shout me if needed.
Sit down for a chat with your mother and let her know how this made you feel – it wasn’t reasonable. You shouldn’t have been left with 4 kids all day. If she sleeps in due to working late or something, she needs to make arrangements for their care.
NTA. I have 4 kids: 14m, 13f, 10m and 8m. I would never expect my 14yr old to take over my duties as mother and take care of his siblings. If I have to go anywhere, he babysits, but I don’t expect him to do anything with his siblings. All I want is for my guy to be a kid and enjoy his childhood.
You’re 14 and sick not a live in nanny for six kids. Being overwhelmed after hours of solo babysitting isn’t selfish it’s human.
She shouldn’t be unloading on you the second she wakes up.