I 22 F, and my friends 23 F, 21 F, and 22 M are in a predicament. We have another friend in our core friend group (22 F) and they mentioned earlier this year they have some frineds visiting from out of state. We don’t know these friends and have never met them, we recently decided that we want to go to an tattoo convention on that same weekend. This is last time we can go to this tattoo convention together because our lease is up soon and we are all moving back to our respective home states. We have been friends for 4 years, we have been dreaming of this convention since 2 years ago. Our friend with the hometown friends visiting have been dropping hints she doesn’t us to leave because they want us to entertain their friends. I personally would rather go to the tattoo convention with my friend group since this is our last chance, she can’t go because her friends are visiting so we would be leaving them in a different city. She recently traveled to that same city for a solo trip and never mentioned it to us so part of me feels like this is fair game. We have brought up we were considering it and she did not seem pleased. Would we be the asshole for going to not really hang out with her hometown friends we never met. (we would see them for one day but not the entire weekend).
Am I the asshole for ditching her and her hometown friends to go to a tattoo convention?
NTA. This is a non issue. You aren’t her entertainment. You are adults and you are free to make plans. It’s very silly and juvenile to expect anyone else to center one’s own social calendar. The tattoo convention doesn’t even need to be a special event for this to be true. You four could be planning to walk around the local supermarket and it wouldn’t make her desire for you to stay any more reasonable to indulge.
Nta. You’re doing this as a last hurrah. It’s a thing it’s closure. She’s chosen a very foreboding choice of closures. But life is all about choices
NTA have fun at the convention.
NTA She has plans, she can’t go. You don’t have plans, you can go.
NTA
She isn’t entitled to your time and neither are her friends.
No, you have been planning or at least hoping for this event for two years! I assume she is aware of it? Do not give up a weekend with people you know and care about to male awkward small talk with people you do not know.
NTA at all.
Her guests, her friends, her responsibility.
It’s not reasonable of her to expect people will stop their lives because she decided to invite people over.
NTA if she gets upset by this I think it’s safe to assume that she is just feeling left out of the group, which while understandable is not your fault or should you have to deal with. Maybe try to include her in something else afterwards so she doesn’t feel like she’s the only one cut out of a big group bonding trip.
the fact that she took a solo trip to that same city without telling you guys is kinda the whole ballgame here, tbh. shes not obligated to hang with you, but she also cant expect you to be her entertainment crew when shes choosing to host people you’ve never met. you have a legitimate last-chance event and shes trying to make that your problem when it really isnt