Okay so I have this friend right. She was paid to take photos and videos back in December for 2 weddings. Took the pics, turned out perf. Videos not so much (on ray ban glasses). Mind u she doesn’t know how to really take videos and edit them for that kind of stuff. So she asks me to help edit, i say sure. Those of you that are creatives know how long it takes… i gave her one video, and i have to finish the other. She keeps reminding me of it, but the way she does it is as if i was paid for that and owed it to her. So today we were having a convo in our 3 way friend gc w/ another friend and the topic gets brought up. She basically says she still needs the video and all this and im like okay don’t start. Mind u im already irritated that the fact that my bday was monday u told me happy bday at midnight yh thanks, but then text me later dont forget to do the video… starting the text w/ hey big head??? Didn’t even ask me how my bday was ?? MIND YOU, my other friend (not in the trio group) wanted to host a dinner. I invited this friend, and she said “oh im not going idk the person who’s hosting it”- but its for my birthday… you know me, and you know the other ppl going and have the nerve to ask me how did it go. That was one of the biggest things i will never ever ever forget. Okay. So fast forward today, i check her on it. I said i can’t pull it out my – so to speak, and she’s just taking it as a joke, not knowing that this ish already hurt me. THE VERY MOMENT I CHECK HER ON IT all of a sudden im doing too much, im a rug rat, im this im that. Wth???? I tell you you’re being dismissive and it’s “take it how you wanna???” When you do the SAME THING????? Idk i rlly dk what to do or say bc not only was my bday monday the other friend in the trio group bday was the day before mines. And we did a cute little surprise for her. Okay cool, when i confront friend about not wanting to show up she said “oh i wasnt event thinking about that (my bday) fr” how ??? If we’re planning a surprsie for our friend thats the DAY BEFORE MINES ?? Thats impossible to fg. U fg hers u fg mine. U fg mine, u fg hers. Like whattt?? Idk i want to establish boundaries get the video over with and be done, bc she’s been very dismissive and acts like shes so mature when shes really not bc you’ll be damn sure i can’t call her any names. P.s. theres some creole in there, im haitian, but the rest is english, you’ll get the gist. So plz AIO????
Between the wall of text and the ‘u fg mine’ and ‘u fg hers’… I have no idea what happened or whom might be the ah
YTA. You offered to edit the videos for free. For a December wedding. Two months ago?
The birthday stuff is a separate issue.
You agreed to do something for free ..for a friend who’s definitely an arsehole.
however that thing is it’s someone’s wedding video, you have all the footage and its been months and you’ve done nothing with it and also not just been direct and said you can’t do it. so you are also an arsehole too
It hasn’t been months bc i fg to add i got in in January. The footage is terrible. She told me she didn’t even need it that quick. Mind u she gave me TWO to do. I already gave her one.
Okay then I take back the done nothing with it. It’s certainly what you’d inplied.
But the thing is it sounds like something you don’t want to do at all for someone you don’t like and rather than just be honest about that you said yes through gritted teeth and now it’s stressing you out.
I think this is a lesson to not make other peoples problems your problems especially when those people don’t respect you.
Yk what you are right. I do like this person but what ive realized is the extent and mile i would go for them, they would nvr go for me.
That was so hard to read. You’re pissed about the birthday, not the video. Do the video because there’s a couple who would really like it and you agreed to do it. They are pressuring your friend and because it’s out of their hands they are coming to you about it. Don’t agree to do something of you’re going to drag ass. YTA about that
People often forgot other’s birthdays. And people decline going to homes of people they don’t know. You can be hurt, but not everyone places priorities on birthdays. NTA for being hurt, but handle it like an adult and just talk to them.
It’s hard to read because the lack of paragraphs.
This seems like it should be in am i overreacting cause idk how you would be anything but NTA after offering to edit videos for her for free when she is getting paid.
In the future if you’re helping a friend with a paid gig, make sure you get paid. Negotiate a timeline and a price so you don’t run into this scenario. Don’t let your friends sell your time
I only understood about every fourth word in this post. But if I’m understanding correctly, your friend is harassing you to finish an editing project you are only doing as a favor to her…without compensation…because she lied sbout her abilities. And she blew off your birthday as well. If that’s the case NTA.
Yeah, this was difficult to read. Speaking of not getting paid, you’re asking for ppl to wade through that wall of text and give advice — for nothing, much less danger pay! I gotta bounce now; good luck with the AHs
You’re rambling. If you are as clear in communication with your friends, most issues will be your fault.
One of the best things about growing up is getting to choose who you spend time with. Sounds like this friendship is not worth it.
She’s a bad friend for being so dismissive about your birthday and harassing you about a job you volunteered to do for her without a timeline.
You’re a bad friend for hiding how you feel until the point of exploding at her. And for not either doing the video or telling her you won’t. Stop stretching out this limbo to punish her, just pick whether you’re going to do it or not. If you are, tell her how long it will take.
ESH please stop being friends there’s literally no reason to make yourself miserable