We live in a house with 6 people, everyone has a roommates and we have a mix of nightworks who work in restaurants and nightclubs/bars. As well as a few day workers. One of the flatmates keeps trying to take over the livingroom from midnight to spend the night with his gf by bringing there matress into the living room and making it inaccessible to others. But some of the house only get home at 2-3 am after work as well as most of us working 2 jobs and over 60 hours a week. and need the common space to unwind before going to bed. Most of the rooms are shared by people on opposite schedules too. So often coming home from work only a few hours before your room-mate is heading off to work. Room-mate has said they can both just sleep in the room together as long as pants stay on etc and it isn’t an issue. But GF has complained saying she wants to be in bed with bf watching movies and they can’t do that in the room. Which some of us feel isn’t really a valid reason to take the whole living room. Come watch movies hang out in the living room then go to bed after like everyone else??
Looking to get some outside views here as it has now lead to getting passive aggressive texts from the gf about how unwelcome she feels. When all it really is, is people wanting there common space and needing what little time we get off to chill. Dms open needing some advice 😉 cheers lads and ladies
NTA. Anyone who has ever lived in shared housing knows you can’t take over common space like that. Once in a while with everyone’s agreement, sure. But there’s definitely no special accommodation given for one roommate’s girlfriend’s feelings. If it’s so important to her, they can stay over where she lives.
NTA. Why can’t they stay in their room?
Roommate does not get to take over the living room. If roommate and his gf want space alone they need to get their own apartment or go to gf’s apartment or roommate needs his own apartment or own bedroom. He chose to live with roommates. Next time they have a mattress in the living room, the people who come home from work at 2-3am need to turn the living room light on, turn the tv on, sit on the couch and pretend they aren’t there.
That seems rude. Say hello and ask how they are doing. Make the poor girl feel welcome.
Maybe plop down next to them to get on eye level – really make them feel like you care. Bring them snacks to share!
NTA that’s a common space and they can’t just commandeer it after everyone said no. They should just watch movies in the living room then go to bed. Or watch on a laptop with headphones or something. Does the gf have a place?
NTA! This is not about being anti-girlfriend or anti-couples. This is about shared space and basic fairness in a 6-person house.
NTA. The living room is not a bedroom. End of discussion.
Sounds like it’s time for him and her to get their own place ?
They can go hang out at GF’s house then.
NTA. Roommate can go to girlfriend’s house to watch movies. Not fair to make common space unavailable to 5 out of 6 people who live there.
NTA if she wants to have that then they need to go get their own place. Why can’t they go to hers?
When she’s on the lease and paying the bills she can have a say otherwise 🤷
Get a hotel. Six roommates and one living room is a no go for unilaterally taking it over. What a selfish weenie. The both of them! 🧐
Absolutely not. He wants naked sexy time with his girlfriend he needs to pay for a hotel for the night. GF wants to watch movies in bed with boyfriend? She needs to pay for a hotel for the night. Or they can go back to her place. Or they can move in together. Or housemate can find other living arrangements. What he cannot do is turned the shared living space you all pay a portion of your rent to have access to, into his own person bedroom for the foreseeable future. It’s not his room and he doesn’t get to dictate what happens to it or who can access it when. GF isn’t paying rent and doesn’t get a say in anything, at all, ever. If she’s complaining it’s housemates responsibility to deal with her, she’s his guest. NTA.
I’d also talk to your other housemates to see if they’re on the same page, before telling housemate in question that his guest has overstayed her welcome and it’s time for her to go home. He can go with her if he wants. But she shouldn’t be in your space this much.