I (F 39) went on holiday with my partner (M 40). My mum (F 64) agreed to stay at our house and care for our child (M 3), let’s call him Eric.
I’ll start with some context – the holiday was a 4 day trip for my partners 40th Birthday, we booked a once in a lifetime trip, which wasn’t suitable for Eric, my mum agreed to mind Eric for 4 nights, as Eric goes to nursery all day anyway, so mum only has Eric in the morning, evening and night time while we are away. I’d like to add that my mum rarely helps us, and I don’t like asking, so this felt like a big deal and I tried to make everything easy for her. We went shopping before we left, got Eric breakfast, lunches and a few easy evening meals that we know Eric will eat. The house was tidy.
My mum turns up with her nightmare dog called Mooch, Mooch is a little breed, who barks at everything, is constantly trying to ride my mum. Anyway, mum walked Mooch before coming to mine, but Mooch still wee’s on my living room rug, my mum can tell I’m annoyed by this. I think Mooch is jealous of Eric, as each time my mum plays with Eric, Mooch starts to ride my mum. I tell my mum to discipline Mooch by putting her out of the room or on the floor (Mooch sits on the sofa).
Anyway, I clean the wee, tell my mum about this expensive carpet shampoo we’ve ran out of that’s good at getting the wee up (hint hint mum). My mum says sorry, agrees to keep an eye on Mooch, we go on holiday the next day. Mum drops Eric off at nursery on Monday, she misses him, keeps him off the next two days. We came home today, and mum leaves in a big rush – weird.
After she leaves I notice wet spots, Mooch has wee’d all over my rugs, the living room one is beyond rescue. It’s wet in multiple places, I text my mum thanking her for minding Eric, letting her know I appreciate it, but her dog is now banned as two rugs are ruined and in need of replacement or a decent professional clean, which I can not afford. I also say I’m annoyed after traveling all day, to come home to dog wee everywhere. I don’t expect the house to be spotless or even tidy, but dog wee is not fair. Mum replies basically saying it’s my fault her dog wee’d everywhere because she couldn’t care for Eric and her dog, apparently doing food shopping for their evening meal was too much for her with Mooch and Eric, and that’s why Mooch wasn’t looked after properly and wee’d on my rugs. She won’t replace them, or pay for cleaning.
I’m so annoyed by this! If she’d taken Eric to nursery or ordered food online then she could have cared for Mooch better. If she’d just cooked the simple meals, she wouldn’t have needed to go shopping. Also like to add, that my child shouldn’t be exposed to dog wee, and never ever would I expect an adult not to clean this mess, so I’m furious it was left and also my mum should know better! Never would I allow this and this is the last time Mooch will come to our house, and the last time Eric will be left with my mum. My mum thinks AITA for this. AITA?
Edit – mum had the option to leave the dog with my stepdad too, but decided to bring the dog for extra company.
Absolutely NTA. I have taken care of toddlers and dogs, it’s not hard at all.
NTA – ban mom too
100% NTA. No one, including pets, is allowed to treat my house like a toilet…You mom didn’t offer or try to clean up the mess?
I have a relative who watched our children while we had to be out of town and brought their dog. They insisted the dog wouldn’t be a problem and was 100% potty trained. After that, the dog took a massive dump on our white bedroom rug… 2 separate times. They made cursory efforts to clean it up but nothing stringent.
That dog is now banned from our house. What I’ve actually told them is I’ll be happy to have the dog boarded the next time they are willing to watch our children so they don’t have to worry about it.
No, she actually sat there on the first night and watched me clean it. This is after I had a full day of work, I cooked her a meal, she came to spotless clean house too, I put the child to bed, then had to clean wee, and she just sat there. Today she just dashed out of the door, literally minutes after we returned home.
What the actual F…..?
NTA. At. All.
You asked your mother to child sit; you didn’t ask her to bring her dog. Her leaving in a rush tells me she KNOWS you would be mad about this, as anyone would.
You bought food for morning, lunch, and a few dinners – why was she out shopping so often for so long that her dog needed to pee on the carpet? My dog can go 5hrs while I’m out before there is an accident.
I will say, having the dog mess the carpet before you’ve even left should have been the moment you said “The dog is not welcome here, please take it home before you come back to watch Eric.” Both your mom and the dog are banned from the house if you ask me. The dog because it can’t control its bladder, and mom for refusing to own up to the damage her pet did.
NTA. Tell mom she can see you and her grandchild ONLY after she pays for the carpet cleaning. Until then, neither she nor the dog are allowed in your home.
NTA because the dog could’ve stayed home with its other human, so it was reasonable to expect the mom to be there sans dog.
Everything else is insanity. I would be so livid in your shoes. Come home from travel to find dog piss everywhere? And then have the carer refuse to contribute to the expense of cleaning or replacing the rugs? If my pet did that, I would have scheduled a service to come to professionally clean them before you even found out about it. That’s like the bare minimum taking accountability for your actions.
But it does sound like you learned that your mom is either too old, too disorganized, or too self-centered to properly watch over your child. (If the foremost, that’s not to say that older folks can’t be good babysitters, but that we all reach an age where toddlers are too much work for our mental and physical energy levels.)
NTA
Accidents happen, but it’s on the owner to clean up the accidents and prevent others from happening
NTA – I would never let my mom watch my kid again. This whole situation would make me question her.
My mom has had many pets including several small dogs, and if her dog went on my floor, she would be immediately cleaning it up without me asking. But my mom loves and respects me and my things.
I can’t help but think she lets her dogs wee all over her own house and nobody knows….Or worse, your mom doesn’t give a sh!t about you or your house.
NTA, ban yer mum too
As a mom, grandma and dog mom I suggest finding someone else to watch your child or take the child on the trip.
NTA your mom is just making excuses she knows this isnt ok behavior and is being defensive instead of taking accountability.
And multiple spots that are still wet when you got home? That’s a lot, like your mom never let the dog out the entire time you were gone. And you’re right, your son is an age to be down on the floor, leaving pee on the rugs is bad childcare too.
Ew ew ew ew!
NTA
Cleaning up after your pet is not optional. What the actual fuck? Is she starting to lose it? I mean, that’s not normal. It could be an early sign of dementia.