AITA, I found out I’m 14 weeks along rather than being happy and letting my husband know, I’m in a hotel now trying to recuperate by myself from a very bad cold.
This past weekend me and my husband son were sick. He had already agreed to help his aunt to move some things around in the afternoon and I said it would be fine, before we got sick. Day of I still said he could go but didn’t expect him to not come home until 11pm. I had sent a few texts to get an idea of when he’d be back. But apparently he and his aunt were talking.
He gets home and I’m trying to clean up the house and get his kid to bed and get myself to bed. He starts shouting at us, because we apparently did not have any energy to welcome him home. He then goes on to say to me to fix my face and there’s no need for that.
When I finally get a chance to shower and lay in bed. He continues to go off me saying stuff like "you shouldn’t be angry because I’m doing the Lord’s work", "you guys were fine because I believe in God", "you and him don’t need food", and so much more.
I’m so frustrated because this is literally the first moment all day that I’ve been able to just sick and relax for more than 15 minutes. And I kept telling him to go away and leave me alone I’m trying to rest and he goes "why? You’ve been resting all day. While I’ve been moving things left and right." As if it’s my fault, his aunt is a hoarder.
He’s been doing nothing but saying passive aggressive comments to me since then and I’ve been trying to ignore him. I even told him mom and the aunt what he was doing to me and his kids. Mom’s response, "Sorry for the late response. I just got home from tennis. I don’t know why and what is going on because he was fine when I saw him yesterday. My advice to you will always be pray to the Lord. God knows both your hearts and motives. So seek Him for guidance. 💕🙏"
Which just feels like a slap in the face. He doesn’t know I’m 14 weeks along, but literally I don’t even want to tell him at this point. Especially given how his family has treated me in the past.
This is very confusing. What is 14 weeks “asking”? Do you mean pregnant? Why bring the Lord into all of your drama. So weird.
Sorry I’m 14 weeks along…
Honestly I’m not sure either he said he was fine for that long because they were talking about God.
sorry you’re going through this but he does have the right to know .. I’m going to steer clear of the religious tone but I’m sincerely hoping you’re okay ? I also hope the two of you can find that special moment to share your news
The man who says his sick wife & child don’t need food? And yells at them for not greeting him at 11pm? “That special moment”?
Yikes.
Honestly I’m struggling a bit. From having to deal with all the medical stuff to being scared to tell his family and all the backlash that will more than likely come through. This was just icing on top of a very unstable cake.
do you feel like you’re in need of shelter services ? is there anybody close that can lend you ( moral ) support at this time ?
NTA for leaving an abusive situation. Grab the kids and go!
I think you pretty much summed it all up when you said “my husband son.”
NTA.
In what other ways is your husband abusive?
You need to get out of there and consider your options when it comes to this pregnancy. Do you really want to be tied to this man for the rest of your life?
Terminate and bail. Have him served with divorce papers. He’s an abusive asshole and you are NTA
OP, this sub is not the place for you.
For the record, you are NTA, but it’s not a question you should even be asking.
You are in an abusive relationship. You don’t need to tell him a thing.
But you need help. You can’t do this alone. Please seek out whatever source of support is available in your area, put some distance between you and your husband, get your head in the right space, and work out what your options are and what you want to do.
Try women’s health services, community health centers, your doctor, or a social worker at your local hospital.
Even your local library should be able to point you in the right direction. That advice may seem strange, because your problem isn’t book-related, but librarians are very good at finding out information and services to help people solve their problems. If there’s a service available in your area that can help, the librarian will either know about it or will be able to track it down for you.
Please be careful.
OP, you need to speak to people who will support YOU, not quote Scripture and invalidate your concerns. Do you have any of your own family nearby (NOT husband’s family)? What about close friends who would support and protect you from an obviously abusive relationship? What country are you in? Look online for resources for how to leave an abusive relationship and remember: abusive is not just physical, it is also emotional, verbal, and financial.
[https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/domestic-abuse/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship](https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/domestic-abuse/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship)
[https://www.thehotline.org/](https://www.thehotline.org/)
[https://www.dcrs.ca/resources/domestic-violence-resources-and-support/](https://www.dcrs.ca/resources/domestic-violence-resources-and-support/)
[https://www.domesticshelters.org/](https://www.domesticshelters.org/)