Backstory: My roommate borrowed my laptop. She said it would be 20 mins and brought it back 1.5 hours later when my partner told her dinner was ready. Backing up, she got fired from her job 1 month before (but said she could temp and instead smoked weed for a month and denied every job offer below her exaggerated wage) and then asked for help with rent in front of a friend of mine (her choice she could have waited for a private and no pressure setting) and I said “sure I expected that its no problem”. I also got married and booked a honeymoon so spent 10k in a month, worst time to ask but didn’t say that. Then 2 weeks later she yelled at me about random things.
My husband let her know when she came in through her door that I had a bad day at work and she asked if she could borrow my Mac for things she couldn’t do on her phone for her new job. I of course said yes. After she came back up from her basement suite she was carrying my MacBook (2026 Pro all the bells and whistles my mom bought me for doing her admin stuff) with 3 fingers in one hand, it dangling. I said “hey please don’t carry my computer like that it’s very expensive” and she blows up saying “you hand it to me like that you always carry it like that!”. I tell her that’s fine but it is my computer, so I can treat it how I want (even though I only carried my ancient 2015 Air like that). And she takes her food and storms off. My husband and I look at each other like what??
Fast forward to her bringing her dish up and she slams cupboards and dishwasher and I apologize that I didn’t mean to make her feel bad I was just asking her to please treat it nicer as its for my 2nd job. She then turns around and starts yelling that I don’t care about her rough last month, that she won’t borrow my Mac anymore, and that I said “I expected that” to her asking for help with rent and she had to pull rent from her savings to pay.
I went back in texts from when she said she sent me rent (I pay for the household) and her text read that she did her taxes and so she paid rent. I thought “great”! She pushed her way into being my maid of honour for my family wedding but now rethinking it.
I am flabbergasted, why make a polite comment to please treat something you asked to borrow into a giant blowout about feelings you didn’t express 2 weeks prior… AITA?