Ok for context I live in a duplex, pretty spacious. It’s me (f), my fiance (m) and best friend (f) of 10 years. Her pets name is Peanut (cat) and mine is Jelly (dog 13 weeks).
I get home from work around 9ish pm I work 4 times a week for 8hrs. And she doesn’t work. But I get home and I was already a bit bothered that she had bought tickets for the both of us for an event, I wanted to talk about it first and try to save money on my own to pay it. I’ve told her it makes me uncomfortable to have her pay for big events or going out when I’m struggling financially and can’t pay her back or help. Money can and has been an issue in the past with previous friendships. But before we can talk about it or I can see how it fits my tight budget she buys them.
I figured ok she wants to hangout no big deal maybe I can still pay her back. But communications been lacking between us and this was just another instance of feeling ignored when I say I wanna talk. I get in the house getting ready to run out quickly to take a few friends to a bar, I already volunteered to be dd and needed the gas money (they offered to fill my tank up). Bestfriend made a snide comment saying how I’m always neglecting my dog. Unlike previous comments this just kinda sent me off the edge. I work and do online school work but feel like I take good care of my jelly puppy.
For reference most days I get up early, feed him, walk him and play before work. I work roughly 7-3:30pm and my fiancé works 3-11pm so it’s not like the puppies left alone long. He plays with the cats and other puppies, has food, water, puppy pads and toys laid out for him. And if I’m gone for a whole day I typically take him with me. Well I tell my bestfriend what was bothering me because she texted me and it turns into this whole thing where she says she’s not trying to be rude but I don’t spend enough time with my puppy and I can’t compare it to her cat. It’s not the comparison I made.. I made the comparison that I don’t leave the dog for several days like she does her cat when she goes out of town.
I told her I was mostly upset about the snide comments and the lack of communication between us. She seems to have some issue with things but won’t talk about it and I feel ignored when she spends money on trips or things (she tries bringing up concerts and stuff of that nature to do) knowing my financial situation and that it makes me uncomfortable.
TLDR: my best friend and I haven’t been communicating much, I’m struggling financially and she still insists on expensive outings or trips, I tell her it makes me uncomfortable and we argue. Then she says I neglect my dog. Reddit am I the asshole?
Paragraphs. For the love of god, please use paragraphs.
If you’re struggling financially, why have you got yourself a puppie. Pets are expensive.
So I got the puppy for free, but due to a deer accident with my car it left us short on rent. So I talked to the landlord, he offered an extension so a lot of my money has been going to that. It’s a short term struggle. Before that I could do everything comfortably but still didn’t have a lot extra for concerts and more expensive trips.
Once I’m caught up I can start saving for maybe a trip or two. But she’s talking about multiple trips in a year. (For reference one concert is $100 per person). Cheap yes but that’s $100 I can put towards an emergency fund now that I have a fairly decent job.
INFO: of money is tight why are you agreeing to meet friends at the bar? Does your fiance actually help with the puppy or is it left with Best Friend while your at work? I’m also assuming her cat is older so yes it would be wildly different leaving a cat for a few days VS a 13 week old puppy.
As far as tickets is she expecting you to pay her back or is she covering you.