I (23F) am going on a weekend trip with my mother to see family in New York, when my mother gave me the dates for the trip I realized that one of my best friends who goes to school in New York birthday is the same week so decided that we could make plans for her birthday. I told her I was coming and she makes reservations for dinner. I will only be in NYC Friday and Saturday and Saturday is the day I am seeing my family. I made a mistake and told my friend I was available Saturday but when I realized my mistake I immediately told her 10 days before the dinner. She couldn’t change the reservation and was mad. I asked if I could take her out Friday night and told her I would pay any no show fees the restaurant charged and she told me not to worry about it and that she was busy. I really don’t believe she is busy and I have not seen her in over six months and I think she’s overreacting. Am I the Asshole?
No restaurant reservations are noncancelable. She just doesn’t want to see you that badly, or is genuinely too busy.
Just enjoy your time with your family.
I mean, being noncancelable, and being charged a (possibly exorbitant) cancellation fee are 2 different things.
OP – YTA for how you talk about your “friend” like damn, all I can say is I hope this type of friendship never finds me.
Thank you I really appreciated this response
NAH
You made a mistake and are willing to take the financial hit for it.
She is not responsible for changing her plans (even if her plans are collapsing on the couch and doom-scrolling for hours) because she was told Saturday was the day and now its not.
> I really don’t believe she is busy
INFO: Why don’t you believe she could have other plans? Surely she has other friends who might want to spend time with her close to her birthday?
What’s your question really? Are you the AH for making an honest mistake and trying to fix it as soon as you realized you had done it?
What does she mean she couldn’t change the reservation? That there were no openings at the same place on Friday night? Do you know for sure that/why she’s mad? Something’s missing in this story.
She said it couldn’t be moved to Friday because there was no availability, she told me she was busy Friday with no explanation this is not an isolated incident but I didn’t wanna make the post too long
It’s honestly hard to understand what you’re writing with so little punctuation, so either what you’re saying doesn’t make much sense, what she’s saying doesn’t make much sense, or both.
> I really don’t believe she is busy
YTA for this, IMO. If she told you she didn’t believe you were really busy on Saturday, you could see how that’d be shitty of her, right?
YTA for thinking she has nothing better to do and she isn’t really that busy.
She lives in New York, there’s a million things to do, and a million people to hang out with.
You gave her a date/time, and she made reservations.
Just because you she isn’t on YOUR schedule, doesn’t mean she is in the wrong.
BTW you are all still young, maybe she just outgrew your friendship?
Eh now YTA she very likely didn’t make plans with anyone else for her birthday because she had agreed to go out on the day you chosen
It was a dinner with all her friends but almost all of them couldn’t come it’s only me and one other friend and her bf
Yta. She is clearly disappointed. Sometimes my weekend plans are quite literally to do nothing. I would be aggravated having to explain that to someone who assumes I’m free to do what they want, even if they perceive it as a benefit to me. You are the one that made the mistake. It is okay for your friend to be grieved about the mistake and just say “fuck it”.