i have a friend, we’ve known each other for 3 years. i had lots of fun memories with her and she’s a really good friend of mine but after this year started she’s been doing some things that annoy me. also, some things are strange and I want to ask you guys what you think. first, she often puts me down for the things I like, for example "your stupid pilates", etc. also, she has a habit of looking at other people’s phones and when she sees im texting someone something or listening to a song shell just look at me, as if she’s judging (if it’s a sad or a yearning song, or if I’m texting about somebody that I like(d) or something similar). something that has also stuck with me was the fact she often finds reasons why something is my fault. I was joking with her and other people from our friend group about this one strange situation i had with a guy and she went on to ask our friends why do they think it’s my fault and proceeds to have a speech about it being my fault. all of these are just examples, these things happened many times. also she calls me delusional all of the time. let’s say one of our friends has a crush, shell be all supportive, but when I have one, she just calls me delusional (even at times I didn’t even talk about it) or she judges and makes comments belittling me. I really love this friend and I don’t want to ditch her or have arguments with her but these actions are weird.
edit: I forgot to add, she ditches me for some girl she liked a year ago (they stayed friends). I’ve helped her throughout that time because that girl would ditch and she just wasn’t nice. now, they are friends, which isn’t her best decision but it’s her decision. the problem is, she often ditches me to go home with her after school. basically if I ask her to go with me, shell usually say "idk if I’m going with (that girl)" but when that girl asks her to go with her she automatically says yes.
NTA It sounds like she has low self-esteem and needs some help.
I agree actually, I just couldn’t really figure her out fully
She’s not your friend. Her actions aren’t those of someone who you can count on and combined with the names she’s calling you…you need to seriously think if you want to be treated like this by someone who you call a ‘friend’.
I don’t know if it’s important to add she’s gay and she ditches me for some girl she liked while back. I did help her with that situation bc that girl would ditch her and stuff.
btw thank you and I agree with you, I just can’t really wrap my mind around why she does all of the things she does
It helps make her sound like even less of a friend I suppose
Tearing you down makes her feel better about herself and when she can get the rest of your friend group to agree with her it makes her feel her actions are justified. This girl is not your friend and is just using you to make herself feel better.
“I really love this friend”
Girl, why?! Almost sounds like she’s negging you (making you insecure so you’ll seek her validation)
Definitely NTA but you will be if you don’t grow a spine and do something about this behavior.
yeah I know she does bad things but we did have soke good times. thats why it’s hard. if she was bad all of the time, I would’ve ditched her a long time ago. although, I’m now sure I’ll have to cut her off
That’s literally what victims of abuse say just fyi
This girl is not your friend. Friends don’t tear each other down to make themselves feel important or better than the “friends” you’re better off making some REAL friends.