I (28M) recently started carpooling with a coworker , after she mentioned her car was in the shop for a few weeks. I offered to drive her home occasionally, since we live in the same general area, and I didn’t mind helping out.
So, occasionally turned into every single day.
Every afternoon she’d follow me out of the building and say, Ready? like it was an agreed upon routine. She never offered gas money, never said thanks, and sometimes asked me to detour so she could pick up food or run a quick errand.
Last week I had plans after work and told her I couldn’t drive her. She got annoyed and said I was putting her in a bad spot and that I shouldn’t offer help if I can’t commit. I reminded her that this was never supposed to be a permanent arrangement.
She told some coworkers I ditched her, and now a couple of them are giving me weird looks.
I honestly don’t feel like I did anything wrong I was just helping temporarily but now I’m second-guessing myself.
So, AITA for refusing to keep driving my coworker home every day, even when I had something to meet up with and I wasn’t going home directly?
NTA. You had plans. You offered to drive her “occasionally,” not every day. You can’t be expected to plan your whole life around her needs. She can take a cab for one day, it’s not that serious.
I’ve read this before…
every other week
I would honestly run all my errands after work and make her come with me.
NTA Sounds like she want’s free rides and you are her driver.
I would have asked for money at the first time for gas. Not because I needed just to clarify things.
“I offered to drive her home occasionally”. You didn’t offer to be her personal taxi. Her not even contributing towards gasoline and bad-mouthing you makes her a special sort of asshole. NTA.
NTA and now you know she is a user, a backstabber, and a triangulator. Tell her that you’re sorry for any misunderstanding, but it seems like she needs a much more reliable ride than you can provide.
Hold your ground and make sure to fail her “how much shit can I get out of this person” test. ETA do not engage with her on any meaningful basis whatsoever ever again. This person is toxic and is already trying to hurt your reputation. Stay far away, head down, guard up.
NTA, But you could sit down with her and go over the plan, “Hey since this had become an expected thing ill need you to start helping with gas money and ill let you know if im not available to give you a rude that day earlier in the day so you can figure something else out” communication is really important. If she doesn’t agree to help pay for fuel she can figure something else out. Absolutely not fair to just mooch and then expect rides
NTA you offered a short-term favor, not a forever taxi service. She turned your kindness into an expectation, didn’t offer gas money, didn’t say thanks, and even got mad when you had your own plans. That’s entitlement, not friendship. You didn’t ditch her you just stopped being used.
NTA. However, you should’ve set a boundary once you noticed the “favor” had turned into an expected routine. I would’ve told her ahead of time of my prearranged plans so she can arrange for herself, and tell her that moving forward, she needs to arrange for herself own ride home or contribute to gas etc.
NTA. I try not to say that *”no good deed goes unpunished”* very often, but in this case I think it applies. You did her a favor, I assume her car’s out of the shop by now, so that should be the end of it. As far as co-workers go; if I were you I would lay out, in no uncertain terms, how this all went down.
No good deed goes unpunished.
NTA- she’s just pissed because she can’t use you anymore. Don’t think anything else about it.
I had a situation like this. I drove a coworker one day when her car was in shop (she lived about 2 blocks from me) then she wanted to carpool everyday.
I told her this: “No. I don’t want a rider. The only peace and quiet I get all damn day is my drive to and from work. I’m not taking on a rider, even you.” She pushed back a bit, and offered gas money. My response was, “Not even for a million dollars. No. “
I guess she got over it, but I honestly don’t know nor do I care.
NTA stick to you plan and say NO.