It was my friends wife’s bday he invited me on a road trip to go with her and her friends. Typically when we go on boys trips we split costs whenever we went out. But am I obligated to split costs for the nightlife if he invited me (kinda feel like he wants me to go). Typically I would think the husband covers the costs but I’m concerned he might expect me to split the total cost with me being the only man there.
I’m not trying to be cheap, i am willing to contribute but NOT split. If I was bringing a date I wouldn’t have an issue splitting the total cost.
Info splitting how?
If you mean you and your friend paying 50/50% for everyone, that is unreasonable.
If you mean splitting per person (aka paying your own way/costs) and paying that yes you should pay your portion of stuff, hotel/lodging, food/drinks, activities etc…. Yes you should pay that.
I’m imagining a situation where we all go out and the tab is high and he doesn’t want to ask his wife’s friends to pay. That’s putting me in a difficult spot
That is not a difficult spot IMO, that is an easy and big fat “NO, I will pay my own portion.”
Is this how you two have done things in the past? If he does not want to ask her friends to pay that is on him, he can pay for them, you pay your portion.
I just don’t want to come off the wrong way. I don’t know his wife well and don’t want to come across as a bad vibe. She could get petty and shut down the boys trips for my friend lol
Are you asking should you have to pay 50% of the bill for you, your friend, your friend’s wife, and the wife’s friends? If so NTA. Your friend should pay for himself and his wife, the wife’s friends should pay for themselves.
Typically guys are supposed to pay. I also don’t want to leave my friend hanging but that seems unreasonable
Says who?
I guess I’m old fashioned. I don’t mind paying for dinner, buying a drink at the bar or something else low cost but more expensive ventures is where I draw the line.
You do mind though…that’s the whole point of the post.
YTA because you don’t even know what you’re asking. If he ever asks you to split costs then you pay your share, which to be clear if there are 5 total people is 1/5. If it is a friend, but not his wife, then your share is 1/4 because the person with the birthday doesn’t pay. If you bring a date (who you aren’t asking to share costs) then your share is 2/6. You pay for yourself, anyone you invited, and a proportional share for person being celebrated when relevant.
” it is a friend, but not his wife, then your share is 1/4 because the person with the birthday doesn’t pay. ”
Only for one or two things like dinner or drinks, OP does have to pay a portion for the wife’s entire trip.
NTA for not wanting to pay for a whole bunch of his wife’s friends just because youre one of the two men there. maybe talk to him ahead of time just to clarify and set expectations?