Really short post here as there isn’t much to say. I am 17(M) and for maybe the past 3 years I have regularly gotten up at 6 am because that is the most active time in the morning. My brothers have to wake up at that time to get ready for school and since they are up and making noise, it just worked better. Since the beginning of my junior year though I have realized that I simply don’t have to wake up so early and have wanted to change my alarm to a better time that works for me. Here is where the conflict with my stepmother comes in. She sleeps through her alarm almost constantly. Despite being the adult in the house who takes the kids to school, she frequently sleeps through her alarm in the morning. Now I was originally being nice. I would wake her up on time just to make sure she is up. That was in October. It kept happening. At least two or three times a week I would have to go wake up my stepmother in the morning to make sure she can do what she is responsible to do. Now I finally got sick and tired of it. I said pretty straightforwardly that it isn’t my responsibility to be waking up my stepmother in the morning (as I am a teenager and she is a 36 year old women). Was called disrespectful and a few of my devices taken away because of it. I eventually gave up and just changed my morning alarm so now I wake up after they are supposed to be up, currently 6:30 but I am eventually going to change it to 7:00. This morning though, she once again slept through her alarm and since I was not up to wake her, she ended up being 30 minutes late to take the kids to school. She instantly pinned the blame on me after I said that, "I changed my alarm to wake up later." and said to me, "Oh so you just don’t give a shit anymore." So am I the asshole for believing that my stepmother should be a responsible adult waking up on time and dealing with her consequences if she doesn’t wake up on time.
NTA, she’s a grown woman. Put her words back to her, she doesn’t wake up, ask her if she doesn’t give a shit anymore?
I wanna use her own words against her cause she always says to me “You are nearly an adult so you need to act like it.” So why can’t you? Why can’t you act like an adult and be up on time
Time to change your approach. You didn’t change your alarm time, you slept through your first alarm (or even your second) and didn’t wake up until your last minute alarm went off at 7am. “Sorry step mom you know how tough it is to wake up in the morning”
When they say you should act like you’re an adult. “You’re right, can we set up a morning schedule where you can help me model your morning routine so I’m prepared for the adult responsibilities I’m going to have to handle on my own next year when I’m off at college/getting ready for a job”