I 18F used to be friends with a girl named Kahlia (also 18). Prior to us not being friends she told me how she had a “bored crush” on a guy in our class named Maddox. She continued to tell me that she thought he was ugly but she wanted to keep herself entertained. (I alr thought the situation was odd because Kahlia told me he used to like her twin sister who she’s always been jealous of). I also liked him at the time but didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t think me and Maddox were going to get anywhere and at the time I was starting to withdraw from her. Months went by and I went on a trip to reunite with some old family friends, during this time I texted Maddox a lot. He’s a very friendly guy and during this trip I opened up to him about my depression and he helped me cope with it. He opened up to me about his struggles with depression as well, which created a bond between us. The whole trip I had a lot going on so I didn’t talk too much people besides Maddox. By the end of the trip, he asked me if I liked him and we sort of became a thing. I was pretty unsure in the beginning and didn’t want to tell a lot of people so I only told my two closest friends. When Kahlia figured out she was upset and became very passive aggressive about it. She belittled our relationship and told us we wouldn’t last. She stopped being friends with Maddox and started saying she hated him. I genuinely feel bad because now I’m wondering if this is because of her bored crush. When I asked, she denied saying she had a board crush on him and now I’m second guessing if she even said that. I just can’t tell why she’s so upset and if I’m genuinely a bad friend for not telling her or even getting into a relationship with Maddox. It’s been a year since then, me and Maddox are still dating but me and Kahlia are no longer friends. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that maybe she still resents me for what happened.
NTA she’s an ex friend for a reason, enjoy your relationship!
NTA she’s an ex friend, she doesn’t get to dictate who you date or don’t.
INFO: Is she a former friend because you started dating Maddox or was she already a former friend before you started dating him?
Who cares? You weren’t friends with her before. She might, but it clearly doesn’t matter, it has no impact on your life whether she is angry with you or not.
NTA. it’s too bad that your friend’s feelings were hurt, but her behavior is jealous and territorial rather than communicative and vulnerable. i’m sorry the friendship ended up the way it did – but it sounds like your relationship is a good one rn.
I have no idea what a “bored crush” is but it sounds like being together would have been dull on her end. If she wanted to be with him, she should have jumped on it instead of labeling him a “bored crush.” She’s your ex friend for a reason. If she resents you, that’s her issue. You don’t need to know anymore. You just gotta keep moving forward with your life. New friends will take her place and they’ll value you and be more open. You’re been with him for a year now, that alone says a lot, so enjoy and make good memories