I have 2 "best-friends" that i have been close to for nearly a decade. Usually when either get into relationships I’m tossed away like i don’t exist. I’ve brought it up to both and only one has worked in the issue and made an effort to even acknowledge me (friend A). My other friend (friend B) got into his longest relationship and i am so happy for him but the relationship also came with 2 kids and they’re a handful- but I’ve grown to love them. Friend B and i would regularly hang out but recently he just had a in-law and sibling move in and its now a full house. He’s always saying how he needs a break but every-time friend A and I invite him he bails and or says no. Friend A and I do still do small things together like grab a bite to eat or go do some errands and friend B will always distance himself from us because he believes were being deceitful. We all have the same days off and (friend b) feels if we cant all hang out together then we shouldn’t hang out at all and i think that’s pretty selfish. I live alone with 2 cats and they both have kids and family issues but only one of them are willing to make time for their friends and social lives. We aren’t the type of group that goes out drinking or partying but we either go see a movie or have a small gathering in someone’s backyard. But lately since the in-laws moved in to friend b’s house he overwhelms himself and he claims we don’t understand what he’s going through and tries to guilt us for even grabbing coffee but we’ve invited him numerous times and even tried to accommodate the his 2 step-kids and offer to do things that are family friendly but its always a shot down or last minute cancellation. And if our plans fall through or one cant make it- the rest still follow through on the plans or we make other plans and friend B ignores us for a few days and honestly i feel like we can never win with him.
You’re the initial instigator.
The narrative sounds like it’s about adults – that think and behave like 9 yr old children in the playground.
ESH
Life as an adult comes with added responsibilities and changes of circumstances. Friends need to remember that life pulls in many directions. As such, weekly hangouts will evolve and friends will drop in or out. No one should be guilted for either hanging together or having to stay back for responsibilities. Sounds like jealousy is rearing its ugly head. It’s life. Someone needs to grow up.