I, 20f, have a severe dandruff problem that requires me to shower more frequently and to use a special shampoo that costs me almost $10. It is the only thing that has ever worked for me after trying so many different ones. Because I have severe dandruff, I tend to itch my head a lot, sometimes to the point that I’m bleeding. A couple of years ago, my family and went to Hawaii for my mom and stepdad’s honeymoon. While I knew I was gonna get sunburned, I didn’t realize that it would be *that* bad. Me and my family are not used to tropical sun and we all got burnt pretty badly. I got it really bad and returned to school with a really bad sunburn all over my body, including on my scalp. This only made the itching worse and it felt like little bugs were biting my scalp. The itching got so bad one day that I had to leave class to go itch my scalp in the bathroom because my mom had me convinced that it’s a bad habit to itch my head in public and to itch at all, really. She will yell at me from across the room to stop itching my head and she knows I have a dandruff problem. Mind you, I take care of my hygiene and I shower often, so it isn’t from me being dirty. I just have an oily scalp and I have severe dandruff. I can’t understand why my mom finds it a problem for me to itch my head, since it’s a normal bodily reaction and function and other people do it in public. I don’t see them getting yelled at for it. Is it really the end of the world to itch my head? I have talked to people and they think my mom is a b\*\*\*\* for that and that she is controlling.
NTA
You have a skin problem. Itching at it probably won’t help but it’s not rude to itch.
Also sounds like you need some medicated shampoo for dandruff!
NTA
Your hygiene is not under control. You are itching your head to the point of bleeding. Why have you not gone to a doctor?
He doesn’t ITCH his head. He SCRATCHES the ITCHY parts of his head.
I’m going to say NAH. It’s not your fault your scalp is itchy, but it IS rude to scratch it in public if it’s flaking all over.
I‘m guessing there’s something stronger in the way of medication that will help you better, though.
There are scalp conditions that aren’t actually dandruff. Go see your doctor
ESH. Go to the doctor and get it sorted properly. It doesn’t sound like dandruff but more of a fungal infection.
Your mum shouldn’t be yelling at you about it.
NTA in general.
BUT
Scratching your head in public when you know you have a severe dandruff problem is…inconsiderate to those around you. Leaving your dandruff on public surfaces or on people around you is not cool.
“Itch” is a noun. “Scratch” is a verb. You do not “itch” your head. You scratch it. (Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine.)
I don’t think you’re an AH, but watching someone constantly scratch their head is gross. People will think you have lice. You say you see other people scratching, but I’m sure it’s not for long periods of time. I recommend you go to a dermatologist and get a prescription shampoo. Your condition sounds extreme, and your over-the-counter products are \*not\* working. You need to make sure this is just dandruff, not something else.
Just fyi, you “scratch” your head when it itches.
FYI using your fingers and nails to rub an itchy spot is “scratching it” not “itching it”. You scratch an issue. And yes it’s low key disgusting. See a dermatologist immediately.
ESH. If you have to do it you have to do it. But just know that it’s gross when someone keeps scratching their head and flakes keep falling out.
NTA
You need special treatment. Scratching is really bad for the skin and can cause serious infections, because the skin is a barrier and you are letting bacteria in. You are hurting yourself. Also, i personally hate people who scratch or pick their skin in public, it is like picking your nose in some way (for me). I too have very itchy skin and scratched myself bloody as a child, so I feel with you.
Your mother is the (soft) asshole here, not because she corrects you, but because she did not send you to the doctor as a child/teenager. She should have taken care of you as your parent – this could have been treated years ago. Maybe it could have been healed, or at least could have been improved.
Hoping you will get a proper treatment soon!
NTA. People with normal scalp just don’t understand.
On the other hand OP, if you’re scratching your scalp constantly, it is out of control and the shampoo stopped working for you. What really helped me was buying salicylic acid for scalp (mine is also oily dandruff) and applying it directly with a slim tip. Then showering everyday and scrubbing with that silicone tool that has pointy spikes.
Also wear a ponytail with a white cap everytime you are going to be under the sun for hours.
Consider trimming your hair short, all the topical treatments work way better if the hair is not absorbing it.
Hang in there OP, it normally improves as you get older
Soft ESH here because it might be natural to be itchy, but it’s gross to scratch a lot in public and leave flakes everywhere when your condition is fully treatable, it just takes time, professional input and the correct medication. But you shouldn’t be yelled at for dealing with the symptoms of a medical condition either.