Hey Reddit, I’m in a bit of a dilemma and don’t know if I’m the asshole or not.
My ex texted me today.For the first time in over a year, we’ve been broken up for two. We broke up because he “wrote a list of everything he wanted to do with me before he traveled the world and had crossed everything off the list.” The last time we talked he told me I was his soulmate and was sorry he had to leave the country!! Reflecting on our relationship, I now admit I was wearing rose colored glasses and didn’t see all the red flags in our relationship.
Once I received the text, I talked to my current boyfriend. We’ve been dating a little over a year. He already knew the backstory and last conversation I had with my ex. Honestly, he’s my dream guy! He told me he thought it was weird (because he also mentioned in his text that he is currently in Vietnam and doesn’t know when we’d be able to talk). He also said that he understood if I wanted to respond and doesn’t want to influence how I would react. I told him I didn’t really want to respond because I felt like it would open a door and make my ex think I wanted to “reconnect”. I DONT. The only reason I would want to respond would be to admit that I don’t want to talk and would rather leave our relationship in the past.
Personally, I think its wrong to respond and would rather leave my ex on read/delivered, but my current partner thinks I should respond and say I don’t feel comfortable talking to him/ reflect on our past relationship. Am I the asshole for not responding? Or is it okay to leave my ex on read?
NTA, don’t respond.
Nah don’t respond. Why do you have to be nice and polite to him? I mean all you’ll want to say is you don’t want him to contact you again. Which is basically the same thing as leaving him on read. If you contact him, he will feel like there’s a chance no matter how small. Because why else would you respond.
NTA. Your opening the door if you respond. There’s zero reason to engage with him unless you want to restart anything.
NTAH. You don’t have to respond to people you don’t want to interact with. Although if you’re feeling petty, maybe “Why are you texting me? Have you written a new list?”
Block him, say nothing. That sends a very clear message. Which is “I dont want to reconnect”. If you respond in any way it opens the door to him, and then it will then become difficult to get him to go away again. We have a general desire to be nice to people, or even give them a polite no. A blunt block and no message works better.
Block him
If you don’t want to respond to him, then there’s your answer! Pretty simple. You’re broken up, you’ve moved on. You don’t owe him anything. NTA
Nta. Youre ‘free to ignore. But if your current bf wants to reply, you can put something like “my bf says this and this”. Most guys backs off after that line.
NTA. Best to ignore him imo. The audacity he had to say you’re his soulmate and then drop you like a hot potato 💀
NTA why do you care how this makes your ex feel? If you don’t want to talk him then don’t. It’s also ok to text him back and only say, “do not contact me again. I don’t want to talk”. Then block him.
NTA. But also thank you for the image of rose-colored glasses obscuring our ability to see the red flags. Makes total sense. Thanks. And good luck. Keep him far away from