Okay so currently my gf is absolutely pissed at me because I didn’t help her bring in the groceries.
For context, she had a job interview and then went and picked up a mobile order she made at walmart. We were texting on snapchat the whole time and she said she was on her way home. Now usually she texts me when she gets home because I will be playing a video game or be doing something. But this time I was playing a game and she got home, didn’t text me, brought in all the groceries, and then when I left the room to see if she was home I asked if she already did all them and she yelled “yup” in a very angry voice. I asked her what’s wrong and she yelled “just sucks I have to do everything myself”.
Keep in mind I’m also pretty sick right now (just the past 2 days) so she has been doing he dishes and stuff which I appreciate. But AITAH?
Edit for context: Almost every day I make the bed, do the dishes, and clean the kitchen. I’ll also vacuum when needed, she does the laundry. I just haven’t done much the past 2 days because I’m sick but I have been helping when she needs it.
She works 4 days a week and I’m in college, both of ud are 21, I have money though and we both split everything we pay for
Before she got home she texted me about how she was mad inside walmart and how she hates going in stores and hates the world, so I knew she was gonna be in a not good mood when she got back but I didn’t expect her to blow up at me. She also has level 1 autism so minor things set her off and she usually apologizes to me later, but she has never blown up at me this bad
Mild YTA. You knew she was coming home soon, you could’ve checked and helped out after her stressful day. She shouldn’t have to directly ask or tell you to do stuff for you to help.
I feel like there’s a lot more going on here. It’s doubtful she blew up over this, it’s more likely a lot has been bottled up and this was the final straw
“Just sucks i have to do everything myself,” this isn’t just the groceries, go ask her what ‘everything’ is.
But he’s sick! So can’t help being in the groceries that she took care of ordering and picking up, but he’s not so sick he can’t play video games!
Bud, this is the beginning of the death knell of this woman’s patience. If I had $2 (in this economy?) I’d say she’s seen a pattern and feeling resentful about the work load assumptions and having to ask for what co-work is usually provided by another adult in the home they share. I might lose $2 I don’t know anything about the state of how things go in your home day to day. Update us in a year please.
LOL YTA
You heard her. And also, telling you she’s on her way home means to be watching and listening because she’ll be home soon.
Even my teenagers know this.
YTA. She shouldn’t have to tell you when things need to be done. Her comment was “everything,” so she’s frustrated about more than the groceries. If you’re well enough to play a video game, you’re well enough to get up and help her out.
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YTA. Not reeeally for the groceries because I get it, you didn’t hear her come in and she could obviously carry everything in one go because she did. I however wouldn’t have started a game knowing she was on the way home so I could meet her at the door and help. YTA mainly because of the fact you say you’re sick so she’s been doing all of the dishes and god knows what else for both of you. Too sick to do dishes but not too sick to play video games? It’s a common trend when men get sick they mope around and watch tv, play video games, eat snacks, but when women are sick they just keep going. Dishes still get done, washing still gets hung out, floors still get vacuumed. I think your gf is burnt out from taking care of the house on her own while you sit and play video games and this was just the straw that broke the camels back.
You knew she was coming straight home with groceries, and you just kept playing your game?
Did you even take your headphones off to ensure you would hear her enter?
YTA – ~~double YTA if you~~ *~~started~~* ~~playing when you knew she was heading home.~~
EDIT: OP has now stated, in various comments, that:
* he knew she was feeling overwhelmed
* he kept his headphones on (i.e. wouldn’t hear her enter)
* he knew she was having a terrible day (she told him on the phone)
…and *he still thought a video game was the more important thing*.
He even said “Yeah I am not denying I wouldn’t have stopped because I would have got banned”…so even if she had asked for help, he would have left her hanging.
Hmmm I have a feeling that the groceries are the straw that broke the camels back here. YTA
YTA, the final comment of “keep in mind I’m also pretty sick right now” also sales it to me that you have an excuse every time she needs help.
If she had messaged and said she was on her way home, that should tell you “I need to put my shoes on and be ready to help” you’re a partner, not an employee that needs to be guided.
I also get very heated about this crap. my fiance and I live 5 mins from walmart. He expects me to text him like you’re apparently expecting your girlfriend, what is the point in messaging 5 mins apart? Just get your butt in gear and be ready to help.
Are you an adult or a moody child who needs to be told step by step every small thing to do?
YTA – her saying something about doing everything herself lets me know two things 1/ she probably does most of the stuff herself and 2) you probably don’t do anything unless you’re asked. This is how men end up divorced saying “idk man she said she was unhappy. I didn’t do anything to her” go talk to her and see what’s wrong
YTA for using your sickness as an excuse ffs take accountability. You aren’t sick enough to video game but *just* sick enough to not do dishes or be ready when she gets home to help?
She’s probably not mad about *just* the groceries my dude.
I’m betting it’s a larger issue in your relationship about you either gaming too much or not carrying your weight as a partner.