Me and my Bf have been together for almost 2 years. He has a 5 year old daughter and I have a son who is older. In our relationship we have had a LOT of chaos, and basically he’s cheated on me a lot, and I’ve forgiven most times, but we are working through a lot. and our relationship is not on the best terms right now because I can not trust him.
He told me yesterday that he plans to get custody of his daughter, and that she would come live with us. To which I said that it is not smart to do that right now, having her the times we do now is fine for now. I am NOT going to be watching his daughter just for him to sneak around on me again and make me an even bigger dummy. im also not going to allow his daughter into my sons space right now, because his daughter is a big liar, who, told her mother my son hit her ( which was PROVEN) to be a lie.
I told him that in order for me to talk seriously about him having his daughter then we would have to have a better relationship and that I deserve some time to be selfish after literally everything he put me through.
I guess I just want to know does this make me the ah?
edit: Also everyone he said that if we were NOT together that he wouldn’t be going for custody because he wouldn’t get it alone, that I am stable and have a good job and that I can be a good influence in court.
YTA.
1. You know he’s a cheater, you’re setting yourself and your son up to be second fiddle to whoever he’s cheating on you with.
2. You already hate his daughter. Not a good dynamic. Please just dump him.
Why exactly are you still in this relationship?
YTA for continuing this relationship
Is this justified distrust and hatred of your boyfriend really better than being single? INFO
YTA for staying in this relationship in the first place and you can’t tell him he can’t go for custody of his daughter.
“Cheated on me a lot” babe. Why are you still with him?
YTA. One becasue you haven’t left the relationship that is toxic and two because you are trying to prevent a daughter from being more involved with her father. Which despite him being a shitty boyfriend is important:
Also a 5 year old isn’t a big liar. They are a five year old learning about how to interact with the world and what is effective at getting what they want. Providing a good role model and stable living space for a child to grow through this is important.
Regardless of if you watch his daughter he will cheat on you again so why are you blaming the child’s
YTA – to yourself and to your son!!!
Why are you with this guy??? He’s cheated on you multiple times, and his daughter has lied about your son!!
It’s not a good environment for you or your son!
You are the asshole to your son.
You jumped right out of an abusive marriage onto another dude and are now putting your son in constant chaos.
Care more about your child than you do about yourself.
This dude doesn’t even like you anyways.
ESH. Break up. Move out. Prioritize your son. Live peacefully.
Staying with a cheater makes YTA.
YTA for not dumping the cheating AH that wants to use you as free child care.
YTA. I ruled this after reading the first paragraph. Literally, why even bother staying with someone you can’t even trust.
M’am, according to your post history a year ago you were with your toxic abusive husband, now you’ve left him for a toxic abusive boyfriend? Please try being single for a couple of years until you can figure out why you fall for these men.