AITAH for refusing to make the first move in making up with my mother? Should I have talked to her years ago?

In 2022 I was in a car accident. My mother decided to play the victim and shun me for months after, and now seems to have forgotten it ever happened. Before the accident my car broke down and needed a new transmission. Me, not having enough money to get a new car decided I would just have it fixed. So I had literally picked up my car at 11am, handed over $4,000 and crashed it not an hour later. I was a wreck and my car was clearly totaled. 

My dad picks me up, we get home and he tells my mother that I crashed the car and he shows her a picture. Keep in mind the tow truck driver had looked at the car, at me, and said “You should really go to the hospital”. My mother proceeds to ask me if they ever fixed the tires… on my car that is now clearly totaled. I am literally crying my eyes out and I just couldn’t with her. I shrugged her off and went to my room and locked the door. 

My mother knocks. At this point I was starting to feel the pain, my chest had been hit hard by the airbag and I didn’t feel like getting up again to let my mother in. “You know, I can just let myself in :D.” She says. I could hear her trying to get the key to the door, it’s kept above the door frame "for safety". I get up and let her in and she starts sobbing and telling me that she just saw I was so upset so she thought to change the subject. Then she tells me that I am the reason our relationship is so bad because I don’t want to talk to her. (There are many things I could say about my mother here but I’ll say she would tell me as a child that I was adopted because I was the only one with red hair. Also she threw a chair at me in 6th grade over a bag of apples) 

My dad took me to the doctors the next morning to get checked out, get x-rays ..etc. My mother on the other hand never offered to help me in any way. After the accident my mother wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me. She was just angry. She would either eat her dinner quickly before I came downstairs or wait till I was done. She was clearly avoiding me and mad at me and I also didn’t want to deal with her. She was trying to play the victim in the house, what an awful daughter I am to make my mother so upset. She shunned me for months until one day she decided it had been long enough for us to “forget” and move on.

Every so often my dad would come up to my room, tell me how my mothers so upset, or that I should go down and talk to her. I never went to talk to her. For the next couple years every now and then she would try to get me to talk to her via my dad or sister. There was one time that she did try on her own. I was caught off guard because I literally just threw up, had half my clothes on and my mother just burst through my door. Then she asked if we could talk… “Not now” I said. She got flustered and started sobbing and yelled at me “We’re never going to talk!” and slammed my door shut. I feel like if there was a time to talk and make up that was it. She hasn’t reached out again since.