Let’s start. Context: My (F21) best friend (F20) has been dating this guy (M21) for a year now. We are all in uni together, she lives with her parents and he lives in a dorm so they do not have any privacy for spending time together (if you know what I mean).
The boyfriend is kind of an inconsiderate person. He is very emotionally distant, has no clear boundaries with his female friends which makes my bestfriend very uncomfortable all the time. He ghosts her, tries breaking up randomly, then is EXTREMELY loving towards her all of a sudden. He is definitely toxic.
The thing is, she is so blinded that she cannot see how much bad stuff is. I try talking to her but it’s of no use. Anyways, that’s not the point.
My family has a farmhouse, 1 hour from the city. The boyfriend, who I am not even close to, keeps insisting that I should call both of them over so that it’s a small getaway for “all the friends”. But I clearly know that’s not his intention because he jokingly keeps making comments like I haven’t had any alone time with her it’s making me frustrated and all. I know that both of them just want to come over to “do the deed”.
Since I stopped replying to his texts, he makes my bestfriend text me repeatedly about coming there. I am uncomfortable with the fact that someone just wants to come over to my house to do it. So I say no and make up some excuse, but they cannot take a no.
I ended up going off at her saying book a hotel if you are that desperate you cannot force me. So now stuff is bad. AITA?
NTA. It’s obvious. There’s really no defense for them attempting to use you like a cheap motel.
NTA. It’s not your job to provide for their booty calls.
NTA.
The fact this guy is having his girlfriend ask you to come to the farmhouse to basically to use it as a motel for them to have sex.
OP, stand your ground. One, it’s disrespectful to have sex in someone else’s home. Two, if they want to do that they can get a hotel, a motel, or go to each other’s home.
NTA
He’s emotionally manipulative and you can say, I don’t like you oh the way you treat my friend, you are not welcome in my home.
You’re not the asshole.
If that crackhead is too desperate to fuck around, he can book a motel and fuck off. There’s no need to be fucking around in other’s places and show one’s characteristics that one lacks.
Dump ur friend. I’m serious. U don’t need her drama. She needs to respect u.
NTA. Do they have a car? A hotel? The woods lol? Literally anything else. If I were you, I’d probably start distancing myself from the “friendship”. If they can’t respect boundaries, they aren’t very good friends.
NTA you don’t have to justify your response “no” is a full sentence
NTA. Your friend should take your no when you say no. I also think it’s kind of gross they want to use your farmhouse for a hook up place. They’re adults, they can get a hotel like every other adult does.
NTA. You’re right in every decision you’ve made on this one. Including telling her flat out that the answer is no, and is going to stay no.
NTA. She apparently doesn’t respect you enough to accept your answer though.
They took great pains to make it uncomfortable for you to invite them over. I wouldn’t either.
NTA. But it’s okay to not beat around the bush. “I’m not inviting you to my family’s farmhouse so you can fuck. End of story. Stop asking. Give his roommate $10 to go to Dairy Queen for an hour or something”
NTA
Do you know what narcissists HATE? Having the mask ripped off. Do you know what they hate next? Being ignored.
Your friend has bagged a bad dude. Tell her directly that you love her but not her boyfriend. That you see a lot of red flags that you’ve overlooked because you value her so much and because it’s possible she sees a different side of boffinBob. But now a line has been crossed. Your family farmhouse is not yours to loan out. You Can Not grant permission that you don’t have. And boffinBob just won’t hear the no. And that specific thing – not hearing the No – worries you a lot.
So. You will always be friend’s friend. As such, you will always be ready to help her if she needs it. Your door is always open To HER. But you are not boffinBob’s friend. And if he keeps harassing you — you will block him.
NTA. “I have repeatedly said no. Respect that answer. How shameful of you both to try to guilt and force me to invite you. At this point you’re just trying to take advantage of my friendship and I don’t need friends like you. Goodbye.”