My boyfriend and I live about 2 hours apart. I have a car; he doesn’t. Since we started dating, I’ve always been the one doing all the traveling.
He almost never helps with gas. Even when I bring it up or push the issue, he still usually won’t. There have only been a few rare times where he offered on his own.
He also lives somewhere I’m not allowed to visit, so he can’t meet me anywhere or host me. That means every visit depends entirely on me driving.
There’s a cheap, safe rideshare between our cities that costs around 25 dollars. I’ve told him I’m fine picking him up on his end or driving him home afterward. But he refuses to take the rideshare at all. It’s not about money. He just doesn’t want to use it.
Because he refuses that option, the only way for us to see each other is for me to drive two hours to get him, drive two hours back to my place, host him, and then drive two hours again to bring him home, then two hours to get me back home. That’s over 8 hours of driving, all the gas, all the time, and all the wear on my car every time we want to see each other.
I haven’t brought this up to him yet, but I’ve been thinking that if he won’t take the rideshare, then it’s fair for him to cover gas when I’m doing both long drives. I’m already putting in the time, the energy, the driving, and the car wear. Covering gas feels like the one part he can reasonably contribute.
Before I talk to him about it, AITAH for even thinking this way? Is it unreasonable to want the effort to be more balanced?
I really don’t want things to feel one-sided, but I’m worried he’ll react badly.