My friend and I both are going through the same things and we’ve known eachother since highschool but got closer in college. We both have turbulent home life sometimes, are restricted in how we live for her due to religious parents, want some sense of freedom to wear tank tops, go out with friends, live how we want to. She has a job and didn’t go to university she’s saving up and took her headscarf off and her parents and family are really against her and said they’d disown her. My mum and I can argue a lot and only just now it’s simmered down a bit. It used to be unbearable when I was younger and I struggled a lot. We don’t want to be sluts and idiots, we just want to be able to be normal teenage girls we see around us. We aren’t reckless.
We both are planning to move out, become our own women and have freedom in a few years and be roommates. We can trust eachother and are both serious and sensible.
Am I wrong for wanting to move out together after finishing my degree (3 years) because home is getting better (for now)? I feel guilt is eating me away. I’d be 21 years old and she would be too. 🙁
I feel like we just want to go out into the world, experience it, find out what we like and don’t like and I don’t know how to explain it. We both used to be hardcore Muslim and now we’re just trying to figure life out. We have our own lives going for us, I’m in law school and we aren’t going to be sleeping around and partying until night. We just want the little freedoms.
NTA
NTA, it’s your life, you get to choose how you want to live it. If you have the opportunity to do it without endangering yourself whatsoever then why not?
I don’t understand the conflict. Why would you be an AH for moving in with someone as an adult?
NTA
Move at a time when you’re able to get established without scrimping and setting yourself up with debt. As law students you guys are probably aware that most of your time once you start practicing (or even interning) will be work, work, work. A common saying back when my friends started working in the field was ‘…Sundays are optional.’ There’s a trade off living at home and then stepping into a well paying career. Of course it’s a bit restrictive, but should you really have so much time to fill outside class? Shouldn’t you be beating your brains out to get the best marks possible (and legal volunteering). I’m not from a restrictive culture but never felt deprived living at home and maintaining an acceptable level of decorum with parents. It set me up for entry into a secure and well paying career.
I’m saying after law school, I’m already president of the law society, doing extra curricular and gaining work experience while studying. This is after my degree. How long did it take you to move out?
NTA