AITA So long story short my gf(24) has done nothing for my birthday(27) we have no kids, she had no obligation after her workday(ends at 3h30 ,15mins commute and money to throw around (she spent 120$ on Amibos for her switch the same day) She did not even make something to eat we microwaved the meals I did 2 days ago, did not buy me cake and said she would buy me a gift later on(in a month or two from what i understood). Naturaly I was kinda down for the day and half of the next so after my shift I told her I had to buy some things from canadian tire and after I went to a restaurant to eat alone for my missed birthday while she was at home(I did not tell her about that until after I ate) now shes mad at me, she asked if i had gotten her anything and I told her that I did not but had taken her something to drink from the store(her favorite)
I really feel like in not the asshole here, but shes sleeping in another room tonight and making me feel like in the asshole, I thought some input would help either me or her understand what went wrong
Absolutely not the asshole. You’re supposed to consider how she feels and what she wants when she didn’t bother to do anything for your birthday? She doesn’t have to even spend money, writing a nice card or making a nice meal or getting your favorite $5 desert from Walmart would be enough….
I feel like that wouldve been enough yes
Did she even say happy birthday…?
Happy birthday big dawg,
Ill answer upur questiong with another question, would you treat ur soulmate this way?
Id move on
NTA
And please reconsider your relationship with this person
it’s pretty much a narcisistic behaviour and there could be something else that you don’t even know. I mean this is my personal opinion but please reconsider
She asked if *you* got *her* something? Why are you in this relationship exactly?
When I read this I thought she meant that he hadn’t got her anything for her birthday so why would she do anything for him? I realize I misunderstood and she wondered if he had got her food?
NTA it’s not hard to do something special for the person you love on their birthday
NTA and i feel bad that you even have to ask
my boyfriend’s birthday is my favorite day of the year. she’s not the one, this is atrocious
INFO
It’s weird to leave out what you actually said to her about the missed birthday, and what she responded with. It almost reads as if you didn’t even say anything and are just moping around doing a martyr act. But that’s not it, right?
NTA
She sounds like a roommate not a girlfriend. You have 3 options: stay with her and endure her lack of caring about your birthday and probably holidays, the 2 of you go to therapy to work on your relationship, or you break up with her.
NTA to anyone but yourself for sticking around that level of carelessness, disrespect, and entitlement. Run, my guy.
Absolutely NTA. don’t allow her to manipulate the situation and make you the bad guy.
One could argue that she is. I love my man’s birthday. I love the day he came into the world and love that I get to celebrate him. Now I know not everyone has to be SO extreme about it. But show up a little bit JFC. She has no right to make this about herself. Stand your ground
INFO At what point did either of you TALK about any of this? Before your birthday did you tell her you wanted to do something for it? Did she at least remember to say happy birthday? Because for some adults that’s the extent that they celebrate birthdays for adults.
Did you communicate your disappointment with her lack of planning before you went and threw yourself a little party?
Were you together for her birthday? Did you do anything for that? If you did I think it’s reasonable for you to be upset since a precedent was set for how birthdays are celebrated in your relationship.